Beyond the Fence

Ownership

I walked up behind her and rubbed my hand on her butt cheeks.

"Nope," she said, "I'm just straightening up the bed. No touching."

"You're wearing a plug," I said while stroking myself, "I didn't know if you would enjoy that. When did you get it?"

"I ordered it after I read the story of the firefighter watching the neighbor," she said while giggling, "It came yesterday while you were working. It's not very big but I tried it out yesterday and it felt good. I'm going to take it out now but I wanted to see if it still felt good putting it in this morning."

"No," I said as I stopped stroking. Knowing she was still in control, "You put it in to tease me, make me hard, get me sore with blue balls, and then act like nothing ever happened."

"That too," she said after she got off of the bed and kissed me, "now, let's get some work done."

Begrudgingly, I dressed and went outside to begin the yard work. Cap was walking to his front yard with his lawnmower at the same time as me. We looked at one another, laughed, and shook our heads.

"Married life, huh," he laughed, "Our wives must be related."

"Must be," I laughed back, "I wouldn't train it for the world."

"Me, neither," he replied, "Be sure to keep those lines straight on your side. I don't want my yard looking like trash because you don't know how to mow a yard."

I saw that McNee's a few weeks after Cap and Sarah returned from their honeymoon. After exchanging pleasantries, Mr. McNee pulled me aside as if he needed to tell me a secret or bestow some knowledge of deep magic upon me.

"We've driven by the house a few times, Lee," he said after glancing back and forth a few times as if he were making sure no one could hear him, "You've done a good job training your new neighbors on how to cut my lawn. I'm proud of you."

I couldn't tell him that Cap was just as particular about his lawn as we were. He had used the words, "my lawn," which told me he still took pride and claimed ownership of something he had worked hard at maintaining his whole life.

Cap and Sarah were good neighbors. I was happy we lived next to one another and, to me, it felt like a bit of closure had happened in my life. Cap was there with and for me during the most horrific times in my life and he is next to me as we share some of the happiest times in life. But, Mr. McNee's comment about, "my lawn," ignited the thoughts of what is ownership, in my mind.

That night Chrissy and I were sitting on the edge of the pool, talking and enjoying the sunset.

"What do you think of," I said then paused, "What do you think of when you hear the word ownership?"

"In what context," she asked without pause, "As in your stories, real life, pets, or property?"

"As in the word, itself," I replied, "When you hear the word, what do you think of?"

"As a vet," she said, "I see some people take the ownership of their pets very seriously. They make sure their pets are well cared for, groomed, loved, and not spoiled to the point they are unruly. Ownership doesn't mean being an oppressive ruler, becoming irate when something isn't done in the way they wanted, or letting the idea of owning something become an excuse to be a jerk."

"You own me," I said after she stopped talking, "You know that? You own me in ways that no one else can take claim of. Your definition of ownership, to me, is a passionate and true definition of what it means to own and be owned. You are the only person that cares for, loves, grooms, and spoils me in ways that all I want to do is please and take care of you. You keep me level-headed and grounded so that I will always strive to be my best for you."

"You own me too, Lee," she said softly, "I gave you my virginity, devotion, love, dreams, and life. I never worry about my safety because of you. You are my hero, but I don't worship you. You are my strength, but I don't rely on you to do everything for me. You are my love, I no longer see myself as anything else but the love of your life. You own all of me and I am so proud and blessed to be married to you."

We made slow and passionate love that night. It was one of the most defining moments at the beginning of our marriage and it helped shape who we are today. We had become one flesh on our wedding night, but, we had become one soul the night we confessed we had given up ownership to one another.

Now that you have read my long-winded narrative of our past, let me briefly tell you about our lives in the present.

Chrissy decided to open her own vet hospital in our town. She has become a successful business owner as well as a highly sought-after vet. People bring their small animals to her from surrounding areas because of her passion and dedication to the well-being of the animals. We have found ways to relieve the pressures and stresses of her being a vet and business owner with the use of ropes, knots, blindfolds, paddles, and occasionally a flogger.

I wouldn't go as far as calling us Sadists and Masochists, we strive to help one another reach the point of release and then maintain a safe environment until they return from their subspace. We have learned the limits of one another and know when the other needs the release. Even when we are unaware we are in need of a break from reality.

"We are almost like the king and queen from your story," Chrissy said on more than one occasion as we held one another, "True love, knowing the other intimately, and giving the other what is needed."

Cap and Sarah are still in love with one another and have an incredible relationship. I was worried at the beginning of their marriage that Cap would allow jealousy and suspicion to creep into their relationship. Cap's first wife cheated on him while he was at work. He had vowed, many times at the firehouse, that he would never trust a woman again. However, he trusted Sarah and never worried about her loyalty to him. Sarah had confided in Chrissy that Cap had told her about his ex-wife cheating and trusted Sarah and loved her so much that he was working through his insecurities.

Their ability to communicate so openly and freely did not surprise me. Cap was always a good communicator and if Sarah was anything like her daughter, her ability to communicate was beyond excellent.

Lisa is in grad school now. She decided to study business and graduated college, Summa Cum Laude. We were not surprised at her level of distinction. She was smart and determined to become the best she could be with everything she did. Lisa worked part-time for Chrissy while she attended school. Her goal is to become a business lawyer and family or not, if I were to have any issues related to business, I would hire her as my lawyer at any price she named.

What about me, you may ask. I'm still me. I sleep in the nude when I am not working at the firehouse, cut my lawn in straight lines, and cook delicious meals that are to be consumed on the lanai.

I still wake up on occasion while seeing the little boy standing in my room, hearing the woman begging me not to let her die as she exsanguinate while I worked on her, or the dream of Andy murdering Chrissy while Cassy and Rachael made me watch.

Chrissy, helps me return to reality and soothes me back to sleep with her calm voice and touch. The dreams do not happen as often and, according to my counselor, will never completely stop occurring. However, with the help of friends, professionals, and my caring and understanding wife, I have been able to accept that I am a normal human being.

That may sound weird or a bit cocky to you, but, those of us that put our lives on the line to help others, oftentimes forget that we are fallible and flawed. We may do things others can't or refuse to do and we begin to believe our actions define us. When we have loved ones who keep us grounded, we are then able to become better humans that can thrive in life.

I am two years away from retiring. I have lived a third of my life in the firehouse and I am looking forward to spending that third of the time with my wife. I look forward to being home every night with her. I look forward to being able to wake up and see her naked body next to mine, every morning and every night. I look forward to spending the rest of my life knowing I am loved and being able to focus my devotion to Chrissy, my wife, and my love.