Ravished and Ravenous. (Bella x m werewolf reader)

Confessions

Y/n POV.

The first day, I had been hoping you'd leave me alone, for your safety and mine, but it was an extricable happenstance, always popping up near me. Perhaps I was too aware of you, your smile and everything else. I gave up trying to avoid you, trying to keep a distance; and decided to befriend you, trying to figure out more about you. But you were too interesting, I found myself caught up in your expressions... and every now and then you would stir the air with your hand or your hair, and your silent song and scent would stun me again..." I paused, trying to collect my thoughts.

"Of course, then you were nearly crushed to death in front of my eyes. Later I thought of a perfectly good excuse for why I acted at that moment — because if I hadn't saved you, if your blood had been spilled there in front of me, I don't think I could have stopped my brother from exposing us for what we are. But I only thought of that excuse later. At the time, all I could think was, 'Not her.'"

I closed my eyes, wanting to just disappear from sight; but her heart rate remained steady; despite my confessions.

When she did speak again, her voice was faint. "In the hospital?"

"I was appalled. I couldn't believe I had put us in danger after all, put myself in your power — you of all people. As if I needed another motive to kill you." We both flinched as that word slipped out. "But it had the opposite effect," I continued quickly. "I fought with Rosalie,
Emmett, and Jasper when they suggested that now was the time... the worst fight we've ever had. Carlisle and Emmet sided with me, and Alice." He smiled when he said her name. I couldn't imagine why. "Esme told me to do whatever I had to in order to stay."

"All that next day I eavesdropped on the conversation of everyone you spoke to, shocked that you kept your word. I didn't understand you at all. But I knew that I couldn't detangle from you. And every day the perfume of your skin, your breath, your hair... it hit me as hard as the very first day."

My eyes met hers again; and I noted they were surprisingly tender.

"And for all that," I continued, "I'd have fared better if I had exposed us all at that first moment, than if now, here — with no witnesses and nothing to stop me — I were to hurt you."

She  was human enough to have to ask. "Why?" I smiled at her innocence...

"Isabella." I carefully, then playfully ruffled my hair with his free hand. I could hear her heartbeat jump. "Bella, I couldn't live with myself if I ever hurt you. You don't know how it's tortured me. The thought of you, still, white, cold... to never see you blush scarlet again, to never see that flash of intuition in your eyes when you see through my pretenses... it would be unendurable." You are the most important thing to me now. The most important thing to me ever."

Her cheeks flushed as she carefully spoke, my head was spinning at the rapid change in direction our conversation had taken. From the cheerful topic of her impending demise, we were suddenly declaring ourselves. I waited, and even though she looked down to study our hands between us, my eyes never left her. 

"You already know how I feel, of course," She finally said. "I'm here... which, roughly translated, means I would rather die than stay away from you." She then frowned, which looked positively cute. "I'm an idiot."

"You are an idiot," I agreed with a laugh. Our eyes met, and we laughed. We laughed together at the idiocy and sheer impossibility of such a moment.

"And so the wolf fell in love with the lamb..." I murmured. She looked away, hiding her eyes. 

"What a stupid lamb," She sighed.

"What a sick, twisted wolf." I stared into the shadowy forest for a long moment, and I wondered how it had come to this. How had it come to this? How far I'd fallen from grace .

"Why... ?" She began, and then paused, not sure how to continue, hesitancy on her face.
I looked over to her, placing a soft hand on hers.

"Yes?"

"Tell me why you ran from me before."

My smile faded, recalling the one day where she flicked her hair over her shoulder and I felt my mouth go dry. "You know why."

"No, I mean, exactly what did I do wrong? I'll have to be on my guard, you see, so I better start learning what I shouldn't do. This, for example" — I stroked the back of his hand — "seems to be all right."

I smiled again. "You didn't do anything wrong, Bella. It was my fault."

"But I want to help, if I can, to not make this harder for you."

"Well..." I contemplated for a moment. "It was just how close you were. Most humans instinctively shy away from us, are repelled by our alienness... I wasn't expecting you to come so close. And the smell of your throat." I stopped short, looking to see if I'd upset her.

"Okay, then," She said flippantly, tucking her chin. "No throat exposure."