A/n: I liiiiiveeeee ! And we're back again. From this moment on, I am forwarning of dark things ahead. This book is going to get very sad and sick before it gets happy and better; there will be breaks and such in between, but the aftermath of the previous chapter will forever change Y/n.
Please keep this in mind everyone, lots of love; your friendly cannoneer.
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I felt strangely buoyant as we walked toward the cafeteria, and it wasn't just because I was holding hands with the most perfect person on the planet, though that was certainly part of it.
No, despite how much Bella really kept me from finding a truly permanent way to end myself, that wasn't why I felt like I was a buoy in the ocean, floating up and down on the waves of my own despair and pain.
It was the tentative gaze, from the people around me. I guess the monster inside was really starting to come out. I didn't feel hungry anymore, or tired, or anything I used to feel.
No, honestly it was great!
I felt dead. I felt like I had died.
Though, I thought as I waited with Bella as she gathered some food for me and herself, that has to be the greatest tragedy of all? When we die whilst our bodies live.
"Y/n?" Bella took my hand as I realized I had stopped walking, and had been staring at the floor in thought.
"Sorry," muttering softly as I sat down, the bench yelped a little as she sat beside me . Her body wasn't suffocatingly close, but it wasn't disturbingly far either. I suppose after having wondered whether I was going to live or not, she'd learnt my needs and spaces. Just like I had hers.
"Mm mm, there's nothing to apologize for my love," Her soft lips gently kissed my hand that she held, firmly griped in her gentle hold.
Offering a weak smile, I attempted to eat, picking absently at the food in front of me as we silently absorbed the cafeteria's noise. I was absently trying to eat, but as much as I was absent, so too was my appetite. Biting into my apple, I forced myself to swallow it down.
"Y/n?" Ben, cautiously, sat himself next to Bella. He was a good kid, and even though he wasn't great with the social skills, he meant well. I had to remind myself of that often.
"No Ben, I'm not okay. I don't think I will be for a while."
'Sinking under
Think my angels fallen
Safe place, plundered
Bastards kicked the doors in'
Letting Bella lead me through my classes, I hardly heard any of the teachers, even though I answered. Before I knew it, I was sitting in Bella's old truck. Her pale features looked over to me, I could see her, only just.
'I picked the stitches, now I can't stop bleeding
Three in the morning, I ain't slept all weekend
Six feet in the dirt, still breathing
Don't give a fuck if my heart stops beating'
Looking down, my fingers, marred in scars of their own, traced the ones on my arms. By both blade and claw, I had intentionally and unintentionally gouged deep scars across them. For a fleeting moment, the thought of drinking poison crossed my mind...Latching onto the warm hand beside me, I felt all the negative thoughts dispel quietly and peace came to my waring mind.
'Hey, I'm begging you to stay
My darkside won today
My heart keeps breaking
Over and over
Hey, don't let me out your sight
Can't trust myself tonight
My heart keeps breaking
Can you talk me off the ledge again?
Something haunts me
Footsteps in the basement
Out of body
But there's no escaping
I picked the stitches, now I can't stop bleeding
Three in the morning, I ain't slept all weekend
Six feet in the dirt, still breathing
Don't give a fuck if my heart stops beating'
I'm walking now, it doesn't feel like the feet belong to me. I enter the Cullen household, the one that was a cold house; as dead and damned as the vampires in it. Bella's hand never left mine. Alice and Emmett rushed out to greet me, I smiled and waved. They looked sad, but I didn't hear them. There mouths just moved.
'Hey, I'm begging you to stay
My darkside won today
My heart keeps breaking
Over and over
Hey, don't let me out your sight
Can't trust myself tonight
My heart keeps breaking
Can you talk me off the ledge again?
Something's in the way
Don't know what I can say
Memories are haunting me
A sickness taking over
So bury me alive
There's nowhere left to hide
And say goodbye
'Cause maybe I
Maybe I will miss me when I'm gone
Hey, I'm begging you to stay
My darkside won today
My heart keeps breaking
Over and over
Hey, don't let me out your sight
Can't trust myself tonight
My heart keeps breaking
Can you talk me off the ledge again?
Can't trust myself tonight
Can't trust myself
Can you talk me off the ledge again?'
A:n- this is just to get into things, I'll try tend to it more. I have exams now, so yeah. Stay awesome guys!
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Ravished and Ravenous. (Bella x m werewolf reader)
Fanfiction"If you don't turn him. I will!" Throwing a young mans life a second line, he starts out on his best foot; new school, new town, new family. The Cullens will risk everything for this boy, and he for them. But now, what happens when another indi...
