Underneath His White Coat ( Montero Series # 5)

Chapter Twenty

Chapter Twenty

[Rafael's POV]

I lOST count how many kicks I did with the heavy bag, releasing all the pent up emotions na nananahan pa rin sa kaloob looban ko.

You are not like them, anak.

God forbid, hindi ko pinagsisisihan ang ginawa ko kay Tavera kahapon. If I had a choice I would have killed him myself but I lost myself in front of those people. Alam kong hindi ko dapat iyon ginawa. Those doctors, nurses and board members deserve respect. I'm a doctor for fuck's sake!

Lalo na si Aria, ayokong makita niya akong ganito at madamay muli siya sa kagaguhan ko. I don't want to be mad again and use her body to let go of my rage just like what happened on our first night. Even if what I wanted to do was ravish her yesterday she doesn't deserve it. Hell, she doesn't deserve me!

"Leave Aria. Stay at your unit. Gusto kong mapag isa," I dismissed her in a cold tone though it wasn't what I really wanted. I wanted her to stay. She came with me kahit wala akong imik.

I swallowed the ache while looking at those hurt little luminescent eyes bago ko siya tinalikuran. I wanted to hug her, pull her close and tell her what an ass I was but I couldn't. I know I couldn't do it while I'm still mad. I don't want to use her body for sex just like all of those women from the past. I don't want to hurt her.

"Sigurado ka?" she asked softly, mahihimigan mo pa rin ang pag aalala sa boses niya.

No baby, I want you. I need you...but I don't want to hurt you...I said unable to mouth the words.

" Dadalhan nalang kita ng mga kailangan mo dito. Magluluto ako ng pagkain mo. Kumain ka ha?" she uttered too sweetly that almost made me turn to pull her close pero nagtuloy tuloy na akong pumasok sa kwarto na hindi siya sinasagot. Baka magawa ang hindi ko gustong gawin sa kanya.

Pinagpatuloy ko ang ginawaga hanggang sa maramdaman kong medyo nawala na ang kirot sa dibdib ko. I was breathless and exhausted but I don't want to carry this again today. Pumasok ako sa banyo naligo pagkatapos ay nagbihis.

Paglabas ko ng kwarto eksaktong tumunog ang doorbell. I was expecting my older brother Elijah. He said he has a lead kung sino ang nagpabaril sa'kin.

" How are you?" tanong ni Kuya nang maupo kami sa living area.

"I'm good. Si Mommy?"

" Masama pa rin ang loob pero baka anumang oras mapa punta iyon dito para kamustahin ka," he sighed. "Alam mong mataas ang BP ni mommy. Pinalagpas mo nalang sana ang dalawang araw."

Hindi ako sumagot. I know I was at fault.

" Come visit on Sunday. "

Tumango ako.

" Dalhin mo si Aria."

Bigla akong natigilan.

"Cassy invited her. Pwede kayong sabay na pumunta."

I heaved out." May alam na ba si Ate?"

" How will I know? Pero baka nga may idea na iyon. She has a sharp radar. Why the hell are you hiding Aria anyway? She seems to be a decent woman. I'm sure Mom wouldn't mind."

"Mom will know eventually that she's staying with me. I don't wanna be ask. Kilala mo naman si Mommy. And we have a professional relationship at the hospital, ayokong may makaalam."