the 1

5

trigger warning : cheating

—

Hard rain poured down and Jungeun felt frustrated with herself that she didn't bring any umbrella just in case. She should've paid more attention to the news. She let out a sigh and waited for the rain to be a little slower.

It was already 8 in the evening. Normally, the employees would leave their workplace at 7 but Jungeun insisted to stay behind since she had other things to do. What other things? To look through the cabinets and find files. That was her task.

To be honest, Jungeun felt really bad with what she was doing even Karina, Yeji and Haseul did. The employees at this branch were friendly and they even made new friends themselves. Also this branch had a lot of Asians. Mainly from South Korea. That's probably why there felt comfortable with them in the first place.

On Jungeun's first day, she found a few information from the employees about whatever this investigation was and she could say that she gathered a lot just for her first day. Even if she felt amazed with how great she was with her job, the feeling of guilt still consumes her.

"You've been here for an hour already, do you not want to go home?"

That voice. That voice felt home to Jungeun, a voice she missed so much, a voice that she wanted to hear after a long time.

Jiwoo's voice.

"Jiwoo," Jungeun started and turned to look at her back to see her. The love of her life. Kim Jiwoo.

"Jungeun," she returned with a smile. A smile Jungeun missed seeing. "Shouldn't you go already?" She asked. Jungeun nodded. "The rain's still pouring hard. I won't be able to hail a taxi cab." Jiwoo replied with a small 'ah' and it fell silent.

It has been a while since they last spoke to each other. If Jungeun didn't ruin things for them then they wouldn't have been like this. They would've stayed as something she has always wanted them to be. Lovers.

"What are you still doing here?" With every rain drop, Jungeun's heartbeat was beating louder. She felt a rollercoaster of emotions. "I had some errands to do nearby." Jungeun nodded.

"Don't make me lose my job, Jungeun. I already lost you. Please don't take this away from me." Jiwoo silently begged and Jungeun gave her a sympathetic stare. "They said they'd help you if I did this."

"You never changed, Jungeun! You know they don't mean that. Look what your dreams led us to!" Jiwoo said, furious about Jungeun's decision and unknowingly tears started to fall out of the blonde's eyes. "I loved you, Jungeun. I did everything I can just for you but you always end up taking everything away from me!

I lost you and then you're going to make me lose my job? If Yeji didn't tell me anything about this I would've actually believed that you started to work here for me but guess what? You disappoint me."

Jiwoo sniffed. Jungeun's rapid heartbeat suddenly turned into silent cracks. "What they're doing is illegal. They're doing shit behind your backs and you're just going to let that happen because this is your job? How selfish can you be?"

"Oh don't act like you didn't do anything like this before. Remember when you slept with a guy just to keep that job? How pathetic of you, Jungeun."

A slap. A slap is what Jiwoo received the moment she said those words. To Jiwoo, it didn't hurt it because what Jungeun did to her would always hurt more than it should be. To Jungeun, it felt like another mistake she was making. She has been hurting Jiwoo so much.

If only you'd understand me, Jiwoo.

"I guess I'll see you around." Jiwoo said and turned her back to Jungeun. She walked away from the scene with tears and the heartache she thought was already gone. She walked away with a heavy heart, wanting to go back to Jungeun and tell her that she's sorry.

If only you'd listen to me, Jungeun.

With blurry eyes, Jungeun stared at Jiwoo's figure slowly disappearing into the dark streets and she was left there with rain still pouring down. She couldn't get herself to walk away neither could she make herself breath properly.

There, she sobbed, as loud as she can, she sobbed everything out. She cried with the rain accompanying her and her heavy heart. She cried knowing that whatever she'll do Jiwoo would never look at her the same way again.

She ruined everything for them but she did it for a reason. It was for her dreams, it was for her career. She did it for their future. She slept with Felix Lee to ensure the job they've always wanted to have.

To be journalists of the popular New York Times.

But little did Jungeun know, Felix wanted more from her. Felix wanted more than just one night stand with Jungeun, he wanted to with Jungeun and that's when she ruined everything for them.

She ruined it the moment she chose Felix over Jiwoo.

"Fuck," she said to herself and forced a smile as she wiped her tears away. "This is my fault after all. I chose this life. A life without her so why would I still want her back in my life? Oh right because I still love her. Fuck you, Kim Jungeun, you're stupid!"

She exclaimed and started to walk away from the building because she knew no matter how many tears she'd cry, no matter how many swears she'd say, Jiwoo would never love her like before.

She ran with the rain, even if she knew she was going to be sick with what she was doing, she just ran through it and she reached her house soaking wet, her eyes sore and her legs aching.

The moment she entered her abode, her body hit the ground and she closed her eyes. She didn't bother taking off her clothes and rinsing herself dry because she already felt so tired.

All I want is for you to save me from this misery, Jiwoo.

Love me,

Love me like how you loved me before,

I beg of you,

Love me.

Love me again.