Once A Lost Girl | Once Upon A Time Story | Peter Pan

03x10 - Lose It - Past

        Three days. Three days of looking over my shoulder. Three days of smelling my food and swirling my tea to see if any detectable poisons were present. Three days of wondering if I'd wake up on my cot or in a cage. 

         Nothing. For three. Days. It was driving me mad. 

         Felix didn't bother making fun of me, and the rest of the lost boys proceeded like nothing was wrong. Like I didn't betray Pan. Like I wasn't going to die. It only set me more on edge. 

        The other glass had to break. The trap was going to come when I least expected it. Everything was too perfect, too nice, too much like home. Like Home.... Where I went ignored for days on end in that small, cramped shack. Was this the plan all along? See what I would do?

         I found the squirrel again, beneath the same tree with an arrow through its neck. It was just left there, not picked up to be cooked and eaten. I knelt down, freeing the arrow from its neck. The arrow was adorned with wood-burned swirls and bright feathers to stabilize it during flight. It was mine; My arrow. A clear threat or maybe a promise. 

         "What's wrong with you?" That familiar voice... Tinkerbell stepped from the wood into the clearing. "It's just a squirrel."

         "You were right," I said softly, "I should have listened." 

        Tinkerbell scanned me. "He did a number on you, didn't he?"

         "No, he hasn't." I looked at her finally. "That's almost worse."

         "Well, good luck with that." She turned and started walking. 

         "Wait, Tinkerbell. Can you at least help me bury it? I won't ask for anything else."

         She sighed, walking back over. "Alright, fine. Hurry up." 

        We both dug out a small hole by the tree. It wasn't much, but it was something. Half of me wondered if I could bring it back to life, but that was the one thing magic couldn't do. It couldn't bring back the dead. Trust me, I would have tried.

         I thanked Tink, and she moved on, getting as far away as she possibly could from me and my problems. Knowing what I know now, I can't blame her. All I could do now was try to get by, and hope Pan gets bored.

~~

        The boys went on a very long hunt that night. I started carving into the tree stump to keep myself busy. The silence was loud. The scraping of rock against wood steadied me. It relaxed me. I was alive.

        "Love." His voice was soft. My heart started pounding. "Walk with me."

         I did not move. My skin turned pale from gripping the rock. I stared at the tree stump. Solid wood. Carved. Pan did not move. He did not command. He waited.

          "There we are," he said as I stood. "Don't worry, Love. After this, things can be as they should again."

          Pan grabbed my hand. I tensed but did not pull away. We passed the squirrel's grave. I wondered if it was happy or if it had family. Do animals care for each other the way people are supposed to? Do they love how we can? Do they love better?

         Did he let her go? Or was that a lie? Is she alive? Would he kill?

         Don't answer that.

         He stopped by the river. "I have to hand it to you. Not many people piss me off quite like you do, Elyssa." Pan grabbed my face and forced my gaze to his. "I should kill you. You're lucky you're much more valuable alive."

          I grit my teeth. Of course. Death could never come for me. Peter pushed me against the rocks. I stared him down. Whatever he was going to do, he was going to do it looking me in the eye. Pan grabbed my jaw. I pulled the opposite direction. He forced my chin up. "Open." he commanded. I did not. His grip got harder and forced my mouth open. 

          My arms shoved before my brain even caught up. I thrashed. He popped the vial he made me steal. I whimpered in spite of myself. Pan poured it into my mouth and covered it. A muffled cry left me. 

          "Ah-ah Elyssa. Swallow it." Pan's near death grip on my face tightened. I glared at him. His face was set--neutral. No hate. No love. No anger. Just the monster.

           I need to breathe. My vision clouded. My lungs burned. Tears fell. The liquid burned red hot in my mouth and I choked. Despite my effort, it burned down my throat. I scratched at Pan's face. He shouted, shoving me to the ground. I gasped desperately for air. I crawled. 

           Away. I just need away. Away from him.

           Him... 

          Him..?