illicit affairs | Charlie Barber x Reader

chapter twenty nine: i told you so

Happy IA day!!!! I missed you guys dearly!!

Make sure you check out the notes AFTER the chapter and enjoy!!
-dal

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It's been days since you talked to Charlie. Well, it's been five days to be exact.

With the long days and space growing between you and Charlie, there were numerous times he tried to reach out to you. Even though you were sure your phone missed him as much as you did, he still didn't have the right to talk to you the way that he did.

The pile of unanswered texts and missed calls from him were growing by the day, eventually shoving your phone in the cushions of the couch to shut it up. You locked yourself in your bedroom, wasting away in bed while his words haunted you.

"You would've done it too. You would have fucked him."
"You would have fucked him and he would have ruined you."

His words echoed in your mind while you squeezed your eyes shut, trying to push them away. You didn't want to think about it anymore. You didn't want to be reminded of the pain stretching across your chest at that moment. You wanted to forget how angry he looked at you, the way he cursed down at you.

And you especially wanted to forget about the way he didn't trust you.

You knew you two never found a time to talk about what was between you, never admitting your feelings to him. But to a point, you didn't think you had to say it. You thought it went without saying that you wanted Charlie and no one else. You didn't think twice about it, never seeing anyone else in the light you shined on him.

Even with him realizing his mistakes in the end, you didn't want to see him. You didn't want to talk to him. It still hurt in your bones, him not knowing you would stay loyal to him. It only made you hurt more, questioning if he would do the same.

Would he push Amber away in her never ending pursuit of him? Even if he was grocery shopping, what would he do if a random woman hit on him? Would he follow Frank's advice that he gave him before leaving New York?

The thought of his hands caressing someone's body made you cringe, hating yourself for even thinking that thought.

"Fuck–" You whispered as you pushed yourself out of bed. These last couple of days, you've slept all day, it being the only way you could forget about what happened.

It made you feel stupid like you should have known better. There were actual couples in love that dealt with heartbreak. This, this was something else. Did you even have a reason to be upset? To ignore his endeavors and feel this broken and hurt?

It was only a few words... they could have meant nothing. It was probably nothing, right? You were probably overreacting. So, why couldn't you bring yourself to reply to Charlie's many unanswered messages?

"Please let me explain."

"I'm sorry I raised my voice. Please, let me come over."

"I just want to apologize."

"Baby please, I haven't heard from you and I know you're mad at me but please. I want to know you're okay."

"Missed you in class..."

"Please."

"I don't know what to say. I don't know what to do. I don't know anything but I know I miss you."

Since you saw him last, you admittedly skipped out on a few of your classes, especially his. Not only were you hurt but you were embarrassed. What if he thought this whole thing was stupid? That you were making something out of nothing? That you were acting immature?