illicit affairs | Charlie Barber x Reader

chapter thirty: solace

Happy IA day, everyone!!! I won't keep you long but I'm very excited for you to see what's next with our favorite professor/student duo. I left the link to my ko-fi at the end and I'll see you guys next week!!!
I love you guys so so much,

Dal.

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Your night was rough. After nearly working yourself to death, Nick felt the need to prove you wrong about everything. He had to stain your skin with his drunken attempts to be with you and ruin your chance to ever look him in the eye again. The pounding of your feet against the concrete still echoed in your ears. The way your heart pounded just as hard as you ran away. It was the only thing you could think of, those events replaying in your head.

You knew you had nothing to be embarrassed about but you did. Oh, you had plenty to be embarrassed about. The fact that you were dead wrong about Nick wasn't even embarrassing anymore. It was the way your defenses were completely lowered around Charlie.

The shell around you was completely shattered, showing a side of you that he never saw.

When you walked in, it was obvious Charlie had the same plan as you. He was going to surprise you with his apology and hope that you would forgive him. But once he saw the state you were in, he knew something was off.

After the tears got the best of you, you cried into his chest for what felt like hours. You buried your face against him, hoping that his mahogany teakwood scent would eventually calm you down. After he led you to the couch and refused to let go of you, you eventually gathered yourself enough to lift your head from him.

"Baby–" His hand pushed back your hair out of your face. "Can you please tell me what happened?" He searched long and hard into your eyes, hoping it would give him some sort of clue.

Could he see your embarrassment past your bloodshot eyes? Could he see the guilt or the fear that would haunt you forever? Could he see the ghost of Nick and his body pressed against you making you sick to your stomach?

"Can you help me into the shower?" You didn't have much energy left in you, feeling the tears soaking into your skin as you looked up at him.

"Y-Yeah– Of course." He nodded his head, standing up before gently helping you up to your feet.

You knew you had to tell him what happened. He had a right to know, you thought. You owed him that much, especially after everything you two have gone through.

You just... couldn't. Not right now. You needed to cleanse yourself first, hoping to loosen the grip you could still feel around your wrists. You would take off everything that reminded you of Nick and your horrible night so that after, you could explain to Charlie everything that happened.

But while Charlie stood in front of you and gently peeled your clothes off in the dark, there was a new ghost haunting you. What if Charlie wouldn't look at you the same way after? What if his anger got the best of him again and blamed you? That it was your fault that Nick thought he could do that to you?

That ultimately motivated you to shut your mouth the rest of that early morning. You quietly looked up at him, knowing it was probably too dark to see him. But you knew him well enough. You knew his jaw would be tensing with unease, his fingers slowly and carefully freeing you from the chains of your nightmares.

While he worked his hardest not to hurt you, the water was running, steam floating past the curtain.

"Are you sure you don't want to take a bath?" His voice called out to you before you shook your head. You couldn't risk speaking right now, fearful that he would hear it in your voice.