illicit affairs | Charlie Barber x Reader

chapter thirty five: an affair to remember

Fun fact. Remember Apates?? You know, the place where Charlie completely and utterly broke our hearts?? Yeah... It's named after the greek goddess, Apate. She is the personification of deceit... I'm so damn sneaky!!!!

Anyways, have fun with this. I won't lie... I've read this at least 3 times myself because I'm completely in love with it so hopefully, you love it just as much!

i love you guys so so so so so so so much and i'm gonna miss adam/charlie/flip/all that nonsense after this :(

-dalal

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The heart behind your chest was torn in two, unsure what to do. When it came to Charlie, you were divided on the outcome. Your heartbeat was taunting you, forgive him-forget him, it seemed to repeat. After reading his letter, you seemed so sure about your decision but now that you were seeing those hazel eyes again, you weren't so sure anymore...

After everything you knew, everything he did with Amber, would it be enough to forgive him? Could you accept his apology?

It was Charlie Barber we were talking about, the man you were so hopelessly in love with for the last year. He was the man you looked up to, knowing how much he taught you. The man you wanted to spend all your time with and the man you always wanted by your side.

Those were compelling reasons but could they be enough to forget about everything?

You found yourself asking if you could truly be with him now. Could you wipe the slate clean between you two and forget about it? With all the arguing you two did about Nick while he turned around and hid the fact that he was doing the same with Amber?

There was a time when you didn't want to be his dirty little secret anymore. His illicit affair with a student could maybeturn into something more. Something real. Unfortunately, you found out that wasn't the case. He was lost in his own world while trying to keep you distracted.

The time you had with Charlie seemed to be eye-opening at the time. You thought you were not only finding yourself but you were also getting a taste of what real life was like. It was possibly the first grown-up relationship you had, if you could even call it that.

It was earth-shattering and it turns out, it wasn't in a good way. Instead of finding who you were, he was pulling you farther away from yourself than you cared to admit.

You knew who you were in the beginning. You were a hardworking student who spent her free time in the library. You were given help by the librarian, Andrea, cleaning the library after hours in exchange for free textbooks and a quiet place to reside while you studied. The nights you weren't there, you were working hard at the bar, saving up money for the trip you needed to take in order to feel closer to your parents.

That was your routine for the three years you were on campus. That was until Charlie Barber invaded. The nights you spent studying were now being used as your excuse to sneak around, Charlie slowly owning you over time. He owned your attention, your time, and sometimes your body.

Of course, you didn't complain. In some ways, you wanted him to do those things...

Times were different now, though. Now, you couldn't even look at your reflection without recognizing yourself. You were a different person not only from the heartbreak that he left you behind in, but you could see the life draining from your eyes. You could see you were almost to the point of giving up. The concept of being the person who was determined to get where you wanted was long gone now. The girl who moved to California with little to nothing and never relied on anyone was a fiction of your imagination now.