illicit affairs | Charlie Barber x Reader

chapter thirty three: wages earned and lessons earned

wow, i think i deserve a round of applause for cranking this chapter out in ONE WHOLE DAY (even though it took longer than a week and IA friday's don't even exist anymore LOL) anyways, i love you guys, have a good day/night, and drink lots and lots of water (especially if you're in the heat)

love, dalal

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Graduation was always something that seemed unachievable. For years, you suffered and sacrificed, only for them to give you a piece of paper to be deemed qualified to the rest of the world. You would be considered an adult, ready to take on the rest of the world, which– admittingly– was terrifying.

Every day you had to ask yourself, are you really ready for this?

At first, the answer was no. The answer was no, even as you prepared yourself to move across the country to fight for not only your survival but your degree. You were prepared to leave home and take claim on in a state that was entirely new for you and leave for Europe, trying to make your parents proud. So, the closer that graduation date came, the more real it felt. The more achievable it seemed. It was something you could actually, totally do.

You suffered through long days and even longer nights, studying and working until you felt like you couldn't hold any more information in that head of yours. You passed by students your age, drinking instead of being behind the bar and being the one to serve those drinks. You passed up any opportunity you could to have what little fun you could fit in your life, promising yourself that all these sacrifices would be worth it soon.

But it wasn't a surprise to find out how easy it was to tear down your walls around Charlie. The man who seemed like the most intimidating professor on campus was really a kind soul. Of course, with that side of him being especially rare, you felt special that you were one of the few people who got to experience it.

Even with Charlie to distract the time before graduation, you never expected it to arrive so fast.

It's been a few weeks since your and Charlie's close call with the dean. Even though your hidden affair was still hidden, you didn't want to risk anything now that you could practically taste summer.

With graduation only a few weeks away, the hypothetical you brought to Charlie became an actual plan. Deciding to push back your trip to Europe until after summer vacation was something you could see he was excited about. It would give you the freedom your holiday trip to New York gave you, only this time, it wouldn't be so temporary.

It wasn't fully said, of course, tip-toeing around the words 'love' and 'relationship'. Every time you two were lying in bed, his fingers tracing every curve of your body, it was on the tip of your tongue. You knew it was time to let him in on the secret you've been sitting on for a while. You knew it. You just couldn't bring yourself to confess it.

Things were just going really well between you two and knowing that Charlie was still in a weird place of limbo after his divorce, you didn't want to feel like you were cornering him. There were times you were confident he felt the same way but other times, you somehow talked yourself out of it.

Not only were you so much younger than him, you knew it would be hard for his son and even his ex-wife. There were a lot of things to factor in and you were trying not to be selfish, giving Charlie the time he needed to figure everything out.

So, with that brewing in your brain, you decided to do the exact opposite of what you normally would do... try not to overthink and worry.

Today, the weather was chilly and cloudy, which was rare for California. While you were seated for one of your last finals, you could hear the surrounding students' conversation. The out-of-the-blue weather seemed to be everyone's topic of the day, a bad omen for something to come. To you, however, it made you homesick.