Since We're Alone |NH|

Chapter 77

Niall's POV

"It's been a week, Mully, why won't she at least let me talk to her and try to explain this to her?"

He shrugged, "I don't know."

I looked over at Tara who had been parking herself on my couch for the last several days. She had spent those couple of days yelling at me and lecturing me about not being open and honest. 

"You royally fucked up, mate.  You should've told her," was all she gave me just then.

"Maybe I should just go over there an—"

"No! Tomi told you to let her convince her to speak to you. You'll only fuck up your chances if you show up before she's ready to see you," Tara said, jumping up off the couch. "As a woman, Niall, do not...I repeat...do not go over there if she isn't ready to hear you out. You'll only ruin the possibly one chance you might have."

"But I'm going out of my damn mind!  I can't sleep, I can hardly eat.  Every fucking moment I worry she's getting further and further away from me; that she's less likely to listen to me!"

"Look, Tomi says she has at least been listening to her tell her to let you talk to her. Which she thinks is a good sign. But, Ophelia isn't ready to listen. If she won't listen to her friend, she won't listen to you. Just wait," Mully said, looking up at me.

"But I've been waiting, for six fucking days!"

"I know you have and, trust me when I say, it's been a long six days but she will come around."

"You don't know that."

"No, I don't but I trust my girlfriend when she says that she knows Ophelia just needs time to process things and decide for herself."

"I know, I know. I just can't sit around here any longer."

"Well, you don't have a choice." Mully's phone rang and he walked off to answer it.

I went into my bedroom and began pacing the floor and then the closet. As I paced in circles, my eyes landed on the bedside table, on the side she usually slept on. A glint of something shiny had bounced off the light coming in through the window and hit my eyes. As I got closer, I saw that it was a necklace and pair of earrings she had taken off one night. Picking them up, I traced my fingers over the chain before deciding I had waited long enough. I had wasted months not telling her and it had backfired on me. I didn't want to waste anymore time of not telling her the truth. I put the necklace and earrings in my pocket, grabbed my wallet and headed back downstairs. Mully was still on the phone so he didn't see me and Tara had disappeared somewhere, so no one saw me to stop me as I grabbed my car keys and walked out the door.

As I drove, I turned around multiple times just to turn back around. I needed to find a way to get her to listen to me. The longer she had to think about things, the closer I got to losing her completely. And I couldn't risk that.

I parked in an open space near her apartment building and got out. I saw her car in the lot so I knew she was most likely home. I managed to walk to her door but just as I went to knock, I froze. I suddenly got nervous that she would just slam the door in my face and never let me explain; that Tara was right in saying I might be blowing my one chance. 

I started to walk back to my car but turned back around. After about five more minutes of wrestling with myself on what was the best decision, I took a deep breath, held it in and knocked on her door.

I didn't hear anything on the other side.  I hadn't noticed Tomi's car but that didn't mean she wasn't around. But, I knew Tomi was on my side. She'd let me in. Wouldn't she?

I knocked again.

What felt like an eternity later, I heard the door unlock and slowly crack open.  The inside was dark, but I saw her as she gloomily and emotionlessly looked at me.

Looking at her that way, her eyes sunken in and swollen from both crying and lack of sleep, made me hate myself even more than I already did. I felt like her clothing hung even more loosely around her frame but I couldn't tell. Tomi had said she had hardly eaten. 

"Hi," I said, softly.  She didn't say anything but just continued to look at me, her eyes void.  "I know I shouldn't be here but I can't wait any longer. I have something I need to say to you and I'm hoping you'll let me. Please?" I looked at her, my voice and eyes pleading with her.  "Can I come in?"