Since We're Alone |NH|

Chapter 2

More pent up anger rose into me.  I grabbed my own keys and walked out the front door, slamming it shut so that the whole house shook.  Not wanting to actually go anywhere, I started walking down the street, trying to catch my breath and calm my nerves.

The air was crisp and stung my lungs a little as I inhaled.  Autumn had definitely arrived.   

About 30 minutes later, I returned home, calmer than when I had left it.  I had spent the intervening time trying to convince myself that she was doing better and that she had been proving to me that I could trust her. 

When I opened the door to the bedroom and walked in, the light from the window lit up her lying form under the covers.  Removing my shirt and pants, I made my way over to my side of the bed, slowly crawling in.  Her back was to me.  Wrapping my arm around her, I kissed her shoulder.  I felt her slightly stiffen at my touch, if nothing else, told me she was still awake.

"I'm sorry.  I know I should trust you.  I know you've been working hard to regain my trust and you've been doing great.  I just let my own nerves get in the way sometimes."

She rolled over and looked at me.  "You have to be able to let me go out with my friends, Niall, especially the ones you know won't allow me to get into trouble.  You can't keep me cooped up inside just to appease your mind about things.  I know I fucked up.  But, I also know I'm better now and I've been doing good.  And I thought you knew that, too."

I nodded, despite not entirely believing her.  I just didn't want to fight anymore.  I was so tired of fighting with her.

She traced her fingers up my arm before moving herself closer to me before kissing me.  "I love you," she whispered.

"I love you, too."

She continued to kiss me as her hands began roaming further south, palming me in her hands, instantly getting the reaction she was wanting.  She slowly rolled on top of me, placing kisses along my neck as her fingers traced the waistband of my shorts.  She let go of me and sat up, removing her shirt in the process, revealing her bare form underneath.  My hands instinctively ran across her smooth skin.  Sitting up, she moved off me enough to remove my shorts.  She straddled me once more and licked her hand before guiding me in.

It had been so long since we had had sex, I knew it wasn't going to take me long, but I did my best to move slow and hang on long enough to get her off or, at least, try to.  It seemed she was rarely ever in the mood anymore, which left me to spend quite a bit of time in the bathroom with my hand.

As she was on top, I let her take control, knowing it would make her happier and more likely to end well for the both of us.  But, instead of taking her time, which she used to like to do, she started rocking at a rate that made it near impossible to stay in her.  I kept a good grip on her hips to keep her from bouncing off me completely. 

"Are you close?" I asked, knowing I couldn't hang on much longer.

"Yes, baby, come on, I need you to fuck me harder," she panted as she dug her nails into my chest.

Gritting my teeth, I gripped her hips, holding her in place in my lap so she couldn't move as I thrusted up, trying to match the pace she had set.  Slowing down slightly, I let her regain control as she moved her hips in circles.  This motion only caused me to twitch, so in order to not yet cum, I flipped us over.

With me now on top, I could take over better and actually do the fucking. As I snapped my hips into hers, her moans grew louder, telling me know she was close which was good because I couldn't hold on much longer.

Moments later, unable to hold it in any longer, I came.  I somehow managed to hold my upper half up, slightly away from her face, looking at her as the lower half of me remained inside of her, slowly moving.  The look in her eyes was blank.  There was no passion, no love, nothing was looking back at me.

Closing my eyes, I buried my face into her neck, breathing heavily until I felt her body go lax beneath me and her arms fall to the side.  Sighing, I knew that was my signal to roll over and off. 

"Sorry, baby.  Did you finish?"

"Of course, I did."  She pasted a smile on her face and planted a kiss on my lips before rolling over, away from me. 

Rolling onto my back, staring at the ceiling, catching my breath, I knew what just occurred was what had happened many times before - her just trying to appease me.  I knew it.  And I let it happen. 

Not feeling any better about anything, I rolled over, away from her, and closed my eyes.