Something Gained

Chapter Sixty-Eight

AN: thank you all so much for the 26k reads, the votes and the comments, I love this story so much and I'm so glad so many of you do as well!❤️❤️
please continue to vote, comment and read long🤟🏼

I slid my 005 work backpack on my shoulders, and pulled my suitcase out the door. We were leaving for England today. The whole team was going back to MTC to work for the week before heading to Saudi Arabia for the penultimate race of the season. I couldn't believe how quickly this season had gone, we would be on winter break before we knew it. I actually had no plans apart from going back to LA for winter, Hannah was now unavailable due to the baby news. Which I was impressed that both Lando and Daniel had managed to not spill the beans to anyone. Daniel was heading to Monaco and then Australia to see his family, Lando was spending time with his family in England before heading to Monaco.
"You okay?" I heard, snapping me out of my thoughts, I turned and saw Daniel and Michael coming up from breakfast which I had skipped so I could pack, Daniel had been concerned about me all morning when I said I didn't want to eat. No doubt he spoke to Michael. Michael was the one to speak to me
"I'm good, just tired" I said, pulling my suitcase to me
"Late night" he said with a wink and Daniel nudged him
"Just didn't sleep well" I said shrugging. And I didn't, it was my dads birthday today, it was bringing up a mix of things. I was trying to battle it off. Daniel had already taken his suitcases downstairs with Michael. He then took mine off of me and smiled. Lando came out from his room and joined us in the hallway with his own bags, as did Jon. Lando came and hugged me straight away, they knew already. Jon have me a squeeze on the shoulder. I played it off and just walked down the hallway with the guys following. I wasn't specifically keeping it from anyone else I just didn't want to talk about it, or worry anyone. So I put my headphones on as we took the coach to the airport to catch our flight. Daniel kept glancing at me the whole way from his seat across the aisle next to Michael. I was sat on my own.

The flight was a long one, again I stayed in my seat with my headphones on. This time Daniel was sat next to me, he held my hand practically the whole time, even while he slept, when I moved my arm he clutched onto my hand, I smiled as his head dropped onto my shoulder and he snuggled in. I soon fell asleep for a little while myself.
I woke up to my phone buzzing through my headphones from notifications. Daniel was still asleep, his own headphones over his head. I pulled out my phone and saw Lando's Instagram post flash up.

Little Qatar Dump 🇶🇦  (swipe for the cutest picture of my favourite two)

Not the results we wanted across the team but nice to take a couple of points. Back to England for some resetting and training before we hit the last two races of the season. Thank you for all the papaya love, see you in Jeddah🧡

He had tagged me and Daniel, there were some photos of the weekend, there was a picture taken off me Lando and Daniel hugging which was the cutest thing in the world. One of me, Jon, Michael, Daniel and Lando having breakfast together that Lando had taken. The last picture was me and Daniel, on the plane. We were both asleep cuddled up under our blanket, both had headphones on. It was cute. I looked through comments, lots of love which was nice. I ignored any bad. I commented on it; my guys🧡

Truly was a blessing to have these four with me most of the time. They were all so amazing and we all got on so well. Dream job! I looked in front of me where Lando was sitting and tapped him on the head which made him laugh. Daniel was still sparko on my shoulder, I kissed his head and posted my own post on the gram.

England. Wintery, cold and miserable England. I did not miss this, especially leaving a warmer country. I pulled on my DR3 hoodie I had over my arm and pulled my vans back on. I grabbed my backpack and walked off the plane behind Daniel. We got into the airport and he held my hand as we walked.
"Lando told me what today is. You don't have to say anything, just know I'm here and you don't need to hide. I've got you" Daniel whispered to me. I squeezed his hand and we collected our bags before walking towards the exit and onto the coach that would take us to our hotel where we would be staying for a while. Lando would be staying there as well but going home at some point to see his family. A lot of the team were from England and lived here so they would all be going home themselves anyway. So it was only really Daniel, Michael, me, Lando, Jon and a couple of others. So they dropped us off and dropped off everyone else as well. I checked into the hotel for us and sent Hannah a text as I got into my room.

"Hope it all goes well tomorrow, ring me or text me whatever you need" tomorrow was here 12 week scan, so we would see if everything was healthy. This would also be the week she would tell the team if everything was good. With only two races left in the season she would continue and travel with us but next season she wouldn't be coming with us, she had already spoken to Zak and made that plan. I dropped onto my bed beside Daniel. Tiredness washing over me from the flight, even though I slept I felt exhausted. We had tomorrow off before we were back to the offices, I knew I would be waiting by my phone for Hannah all day. I curled up on the bed and hid my face in the pillow, I was not in the right headspace and I think Daniel knew it because he pulled me closer to him, my head tucked into his arm. Without even realising the tears were falling from my eyes, I sniffled and Daniel held me tighter, kissing the top of my head.
"I wish you would talk to me Alex" he whispered. Guilt added to my sadness because he was right. I never told him these things, it took me so long and a panic attack before I told him about my parents, and I never told him it was my dads birthday, especially when my mums followed soon after, in a couple of weeks.
"I'm sorry" I muttered out, the words barely coherent.
"You don't need to say sorry, I couldn't imagine how hard it is" he sad, his words were comforting
"My mums is on the 6th December as well" I said
"If you're up for it, I can take you to go and see them. We can go and get some flowers and visit them" he said. I sighed, because I actually haven't been back there in so long, maybe it would make me feel better. The fact he had said that made me realise how amazing he was as a person, to offer to take me to see them. I looked up at him, my teary eyes meeting his. He looked sad.
"Why do you look sad?" I whispered
"Because I hate seeing you like this, I just want to take your pain away" he said
"I would like to go and see them" I muttered out a reply to his question
"Do you want to go now? We have all evening" he said. I nodded and he kissed my forehead, "let's get changed and we'll go" he said. I nodded and he tightened his grip for another hug before letting me go and I got up from the bed and grabbed my suitcase.