Something Gained

Chapter One Hundred & Eleven

Daniel didn't manage to get back out for second practise and it was looking like he would need some new parts for the car, they would be sorted tonight and he might make the third practise tomorrow hopefully but it would mean penalties and it wasn't going to be nice for him, but I knew if anyone could make up some ground, he could.

We made it back to our hotel a little after 2am, because he still needed to wait around for team things, I was completely exhausted, as was he. We got in, had some dinner and then went straight to sleep. But in the middle of the night I woke up with the worst nightmare and I was in floods of tears. Daniel was beside me, and I didn't want to wake him so I wrapped a blanket around me, and headed to the balcony.

Another nightmare, they never seemed to end. Although being with Daniel and around him helped, and they lessened, they always came back to haunt me. I cried out on the balcony quietly. Another one about my parents, and missing them. I wished they were here, I had no family and it was always the most heartbreaking thing, one thing I wished for most was a family, just to be able to talk to, share things with, have that support that everyone else had.

"Alex?" I heard Daniels voice calling out and I quickly brushed away my tears and stood up. I didn't realise he was in the door way until I turned around and nearly walked into him. "What's wrong?" He immediately knew something was up, his voice was full of concern.

"Nothing, I'm okay" I quickly told him.

"Don't hide away, what's wrong?" He put his arms round me and I buried my head into his chest and started sobbing all over again. "A nightmare?" He asked. He always knew, how did he always know? I nodded my head and he picked me up like a baby and carried my inside. He sat on the bed and I sat on his lap, he squeezed me tighter and let me cry. I really didn't want him to be awake, and I didn't want to bother him, but I knew what he was like and he wouldn't let me not talk about it.

I told him all about the dream I had, and he held me the whole time, rubbing my back to calm me down. Eventually I was okay, and I managed to convince Daniel that I was okay and he needed to sleep, which he listened to and was out like a light. I wasn't actually okay but I didn't want him to know, and I really didn't want to go back to sleep, I was scared about dreaming it again. It was 7am, which was a normal time for me to wake up but considering we'd only gone to sleep at 3:30am, and we didn't need to be at the track for quite a few more hours, I was certainly tired.

I pulled out my laptop, and my work phone and decided to do some work. I had to get things sorted for the next couple of races anyway, but I could use the time to sort out the remainder of the season. I had to make sure I had a full list of Daniel and Lando's commitments for Sophie and Ben, both at the track and off of it and make sure they had all the information. I had to deal with all media commitments coming up, as well as social media content. So I worked away with a cup of coffee beside me in the sitting room, away from Daniel so I wouldn't wake him up, he needed all the sleep he could get.

"Can you please tell me why I received an email from you so early???? Why weren't you sleeping?" Blake asked the minute we all stepped in the car. He was driving today because I had begged him to, I was too tired and I didn't want to hurt one of us. I sat beside him in the front, Daniel and Michael in the back.

"Couldn't sleep" I shrugged. I wasn't as close to Blake as I was to Michael, but still very friendly with him and I held him in high regard.

"What's up bud?" Michael's voice spoke from behind me, I didn't answer but saw Daniel shake his head out the corner of my eye.

"Michael I sent you those bits over for your girlfriend. It's all sorted and ready for the race" I directed my voice behind me

"Thank youuuuu" he sang, it made me chuckle a little, "Ooh Blake stop here" Michael said, his arm coming between us and pointing to a little coffee shop. Blake did as he was told and Michael quickly got out the car, as did Daniel. So just Blake and I were left.

"I know we're not as close Alex, but just know that I care for you a lot, you're one of the crew, and if you did need someone else to talk to, I am here. I know I'm the 'dad' of the group and more serious than them, but yeah" Blake spoke, as his fingers tapped on the steering wheel.

"Serious when you have to be" I chuckled and he did also "but thank you. I'm okay I promise, I just.." I didn't have the energy but I turned and Blake was looking at me, his expression was soft and warm.
"You don't have to tell me Alex" he said softly and quietly

"It's fine, it's just I get frequent nightmares about my parents and sometimes when they come around, it really throws me off and I'm not the most stable of people" I said with a chuckle "and last night I had one and then couldn't sleep and woke at 7am. But I sent Daniel back to bed and then I just worked" I finished up.

"Do you need a hug?" Blake asked me. He knew I wasn't one for hugs most of the time, so that must have been why he asked. But I leaned across the car and he did the same and he wrapped his arms around me and hugged me tight. It felt quite alien to be hugging Blake, but not uncomfortable. "Sometimes, words don't help, only hugs, chocolate and coffee" he chuckled. I nodded and squeezed him back, he was certainly right. Words don't always help, but he had certainly made me feel better. Now I just had to get over the tiredness.

"What do we have here then?" Daniel's voice boomed over us as he stepped in the car, neither Blake or myself noticing they were back until the car doors opened.

"Just making sure our girl is okay" Blake said, I had already returned to my seat and plugged my seatbelt back in, but my head snapped up when he said our girl.

"I like that. Our girl" Michael added

"Sounds like I'm part of some sort of sausage fest" I laughed and took my coffee from Michael with a smile and a nod of thanks.

"Sausage fest. I don't like the sound of that" Daniel said, he handed me Blake's coffee and I put it in the cup holder beside him.

"Don't worry Dan, she only wants your sausage" Blake said, the boys howled with laughter and I shook my head in disappointment. Daniel sent me a wink and I smiled before turning back in my seat to face the road while Blake drove to the track. The afternoon sun gracing the sky and beaming down around us. I certainly felt a lot better, especially with Blake being so nice.