Something Gained

Chapter One Hundred & Seventeen

I sat in bed sobbing to myself, I was all over the place and so emotional, it didn't help that Daniel and I had yet another argument over this stupid job. He had stormed out and was now with Michael working out while I sat on my own.

It was all stupid, all of it. I thought he cared, so when I came home, I told him all about the job and he got more and more grumpy about it. Which turned into a shouting match, I didn't want this job if it was going to cause so many issues, but I also didn't want to not think about it myself and make my own mind up just because I wanted me and Daniel to be okay. It wasn't fair, this was about me, not about him. I told him all of this which made the whole scenario worse. He brought up the stupid narrative that I would forget about him and he would never see me. I got frustrated because it was like going in circles. So I told him maybe we should take a breather, and he stormed out in agreement.

I loved him, I really did, I was so in love with him and everything about him, how much he loved life, how he laughed, how he was so motivated and determined, how beautiful he was inside and out, but it wasn't about him. I started to question our whole relationship and it was horrible, I couldn't live beside him if he thought he was the one that did it all and I had to be in his shadow, that's what it felt like.

My phone started ringing and I picked it up and saw Daniel's sister was ringing. I sighed and wiped my tears a little before answering the FaceTime call.

"Oh Alex, don't cry" Michelle's soothing voice came through the phone as soon as she saw me.

"Why are you awake? It's 5am there?" I sniffed

"Because Daniel rang me telling me he was an idiot. So I hung up on him and called you" Michelle said

"Shell, I don't know what to even say. It's so stupid, I know he's your brother but he's an idiot" I sighed

"Yes he is! If he's made you cry he's an even bigger idiot than I thought. What's going on?" she asked

"Don't tell anyone else yet. I got headhunted for Mercedes. We argued stupidly the other day, then we were fine. I went for the interview and came home really happy and it started a massive argument because he keeps thinking I'm going to not have time for him. I'm so fed up, it's like he wants me to live in his shadow and he just wants me strapped to his side. I'm not that person. I love him so much Michelle, so so so much I do. I couldn't not be with him, but I'm not going to argue over what benefits me. This is huge for me, I don't even know if I'm taking the job yet, I only had the meeting not even 48 hours ago, I've travelled from Japan to England and now to LA, I wanted to come home and be with him. But I can't do it, I can't be kept in a box, of all people, shouldn't he know that?"

"I 1000000% agree with you. You don't need to live in your shadow, but I can tell you that he loves you so so much, he's so happy with you. We've never seen him so happy, he's just scared to lose you, as is anyone that loves someone that much. He's also had it before, his ex girlfriend said it was too much and left, he was heartbroken Lex, I know you won't do that, but that's where it's coming from. But god is my brother the biggest idiot sometimes"

"I just don't want to argue with him, it actually hurts me. And we've argued a few times the last couple of weeks and that's not how I want to be"

"If I know Michael, he's telling him the exact same thing I am. Because he will know as well"

"What do I do?"

"You tell him to grow up, and you tell him that from me. You stand your ground and maybe reassure him as well. Because you two are soulmates, you're meant to be together, and to be honest you've not had many bumps in the road, you've just fell in love and went with it, so this is just a test you need to get through okay?" Michelle said, I nodded and wiped more tears away again.

"Thank you" I said quietly

"I love you Alex, the kids love you, mum loves you, we all love you. Daniel loves you okay? You'll work it out"

"I love you guys to" I sniffed again before the doorbell rang.

"I'll see you later okay?" Michelle said, hearing what I did. I nodded and ended the call and wiped tears away before throwing the duvet off of the bed and walking downstairs. It was odd for the doorbell to ring, normally it was the gate first and the camera would come up on my phone to show me who was here.

I opened the door slowly and saw Daniel standing there, a bunch of roses in his hands, he looked so sad. I didn't understand why he was on the doorstep and not in the house, I looked up at him and went to speak but he beat me to it.

"Alex I'm an idiot, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry, you need to do what you need to do, I just get so scared because I've never been this in love, but I know I've got to let you make your decision and you'll still be there to climb into bed with at the end of the day. I'm so sorry, and I love you so much" Daniel said, it was a stupid speech and he was never good with stuff like that and it made me giggle, as tears continued to roll down my face, it was all a little too dramatic for my liking.

"Are you going to come in?" I sighed, he nodded and stepped inside the door. "I'm not going to argue with you, I'm not going to sit around and not better myself and push myself. You knew who I was when you met me, it hurts to feel trapped, I don't want to. I know you're scared, but so am I. I don't know how it's going to be if I take it, I don't know how we'll manage, I just know that we will! Because we're both the same, we'll both make the best of it" I said. I was a lot better at speaking than he was and he nodded along with everything I said.

"I know, I'm sorry. I'll be with you every step of the way I promise, I'm an idiot and I'm sorry" Daniel said, I stepped into his arms and buried my head in his chest. I started crying all over again because I hated this whole thing, it was just insane.

"Can we please stop arguing, it's getting ridiculous"

"I know bubs, I know" he said. He had already put his things down and was now just holding me and swaying me, he was sniffling to, it was stupid. This whole scenario.

"I can't keep arguing over the same thing, I don't want to do that with you. It actually hurts" I mumbled

"I know I'm sorry" he whispered, he sounded so sad, and that hurt me as well. I didn't want him sad, I didn't want to be sad. But Michelle was right, it was just a bump in the road and we would need to overcome it, and we would because one thing was for certain, regardless of whether I moved jobs or not, Daniel would always be the one constant, the one person I loved most in this world, and I wasn't going to leave him just because I got a new job or just because things had got a little rough.