redefine | calum hood

twenty eight

Twenty Eight

Maddie

"So school is good?" Luke asked and I nodded.

"Yeah, really good," I confirmed. I had to tell everyone about it, and I was tired of talking about it. We were all sitting around in the kitchen eating pizza, but I kept my mouth shut about everything I read online. I didn't want to bring any of it up with the fear of it being true, so I pushed it away. If it was true, I was going to continue to push it away. I finally had a home where I was safe, I couldn't ruin that. If meaning repressing these feelings was the way to do it, then I would do it.

"You alright?" Calum snapped me out of my thoughts.

"I'm just tired," I lied.

"Well you can go up soon," he reassured me and I nodded. We finished up our pizza, then continued to pack. I got roped into packing the kitchen with Ashton, but I just wanted to go back upstairs. When I did, I showered, changed, and got in bed. Michael soon joined since Calum had to finish work from getting off early. He wrapped his arms around me as I laid against him, tracing the shapes in the duvet.

"Your head is heavy," he said and I shrugged. "Did something happen at school?"

"No, it was good," I mumbled. "I like it,"

"I'm glad," he said as he rubbed my back. "If something is on your mind, you can always talk to me,"

In order to put my mind at ease, I was vague with my problem, "One of my friends said he was gay, and I'm just worried about him getting hurt at school," I lied.

"I hope he doesn't get hurt, it seems like a very safe school," he frowned.

"Yeah, I hope," I looked up at him. "Have you been in a situation like that?"

He thought for a moment, "No, I don't think I have,"

"But what are your opinions on gay people?" I asked, which caught him off guard.

"Where are all these questions coming from, Mad?" he asked and I shrugged.

"A lot of people have bad opinions," I said.

"I think that they deserve rights just like everyone else, and that they are still people and deserve love and deserve to be able to love who they love," he answered and I nodded. "And if your friend is gay and comes over here we will respect him and accept him," he said.

"He was worried if we hung out you wouldn't," I lied again, but I was referring to myself.

"We will," he promised. "Did you know Sierra is bisexual?" he asked.

"No, I didn't," I shook my head. "She likes guys and girls?"

"Yeah, but she's married to Luke," he told me. "That still doesn't change her sexuality though," I nodded in response and closed my eyes, finally finding a little bit of comfort to sleep. In my mind though, I needed to talk to Sierra. I needed to figure out if what I was feeling was actual feelings for a girl or if it wasn't.