The Dreams That You Wish

Chapter 1

"While night terrors are usually experienced by children, adult night terrors are very real..."

Ilgaz pauses a moment in his reading to make notes of certain points he needs to remember. It's so scary seeing Ceylin so seemingly helpless. He needs to find a way to help her get through this. Because he fears he's the cause of it.

"Physical signs may include labored breathing, pale skin, and eyes wide open without any indication they're aware of what they are seeing..."

Due to the nature of his job, he's become familiar with many different ways trauma and stress could affect people. And he thought he'd seen it all. Until now. Until his own wife. Until he realizes how deeply he's damaged her.

"Adult night terrors are closely associated with life trauma ..."

Trauma that he's responsible for. He closes the web browser and runs a hand over his eyes. He thought he was doing the right thing, divorcing Ceylin. And a part of him still believes that's true. As much as he loves her, and as much as he knows that she loves him, he also knows that a part of her hates him. That part of her wasn't letting them be happy. That part of her wasn't letting her heal. That part of her needed to be rid of him.

But what about the rest of her? What about the part that can only be soothed by him. The part of her that manifests as these night terrors and calls to him in the middle of the night. Why is it that she always has to suffer? He can't answer those questions. He thought he had found a solution, but no. In a way, she seems to be getting worse. The first night was terrifying. He barely even remembers the trip to the house after he got the call from Aylin. Her screams ripped at his heart. Her huge, unseeing eyes somehow seemed to penetrate his very soul. But the second he touched her, she began to settle. And pretty soon she was doing that cute little cuddle moan she tends to make. He would have smiled if he wasn't so scared for her.

But then it happened again the next night. And again, Aylin's call had him racing to Ceylin. His presence had the same immediate effect. And still yet another call came last night. That's three nights this has happened, and neither Ilgaz nor Aylin have any idea on what to do. Or how to help Ceylin. Ilgaz looks at his watch and realizes with some surprise how late it is. Aylin has usually called by now. He can't help but wonder if tonight is finally the night Ceylin finds some peace and actually gets some undisturbed sleep. For her sake, he hopes so. But he'll miss having her in his arms.

~ * ~ * ~

"You should have told me it was this bad."

Aylin winces at the look her mother gives her. Then winces at the screams coming from Ceylin. Parla had begged her aunt for a movie night and Ceylin didn't refuse the girl. However, due to her erratic sleep patterns over the past four nights, Ceylin was more tired than she realized and fell asleep halfway through the movie. So they covered her up and left her on the couch to get some much needed rest. Aylin hoped the familiarity of the family home would have given Ceylin the comfort she needed to sleep through the night. But right on time, the screams start. The heartbreaking screams for the only person who can make her whole.

"Ilgaz," she sobs, gasping for breath through her tears.

Aylin runs to her when she starts clawing at her arms. She's never done that before. But then again, Ilgaz has usually shown up by now. Unfortunately, her mother won't let him be called.

"That man and his family are the cause of all of this," Gül had said. "He will not step one foot inside this house, do you understand me Aylin?"

That was almost an hour ago. Aylin can't let this go on. She can't let her sister suffer when she knows what will help her.

"Anne, hold her arms for me," Aylin says as her mind begins to work towards a solution. "I'm going to go get something to put on her hands so that she can't hurt herself."

Aylin goes into her room and eases the door close behind her. She makes noises as if she's searching a drawer for a pair of socks to keep her mom from being suspicious. But she knows that covering Ceylin's hands with socks will only be a Band Aid to the larger problem at hand. Ceylin doesn't need socks. She needs Ilgaz.

Come quickly. To our house. Ceylin isn't good. You'll have to get past Anne.

She hits send on the text message and prays he gets there soon.

On my way, is the message she receives in return and she lets out a sigh of relief knowing he's coming. She takes the time to actually get a pair of socks before heading back to the others. Her mother has things under control, but barely. The woman is a mix of worried and angry, and Aylin knows she's not the only target of that anger. Aylin knows she's going to face her mother's wrath on why she kept Ceylin's sleep issues a secret. And why she allowed Ilgaz to be a part of the solution. But some of that anger is also towards Ceylin. Her mother has been trying to bully, threaten, and gaslight Ceylin into giving up on the Kaya family, Ilgaz included. Seeing the true manifestation of Ceylin's wishes and desires coming out in these night terrors has to be frustrating for her control freak of a mother. She doesn't seem to understand how much Ceylin loves Ilgaz. If Aylin is being honest, she herself underestimated the feelings too. Aylin thought she had loved Osman once upon a time. No, she did love him. Does still. He gave her children. How can she not love him? But that love is nothing like the love her sister shares with her ex-husband. Signing a paper to end the marriage did nothing to end the connection. That's something her mother will never understand unfortunately. Aylin wonders absently if Ceylin and Ilgaz understand it themselves. If they did, would they have ever gotten divorced in the first place?

Aylin doesn't have time to ponder that question. The doorbell rings and she holds her breath, knowing it's Ilgaz.

"I'll get it," she says, quickly jumping up to get to the door before her mother.

But her mother, being a mother and having a mother's senses, stops her. Gives her the eye and then just shakes her head.

"Stay here," she says coldly. "I'll handle this."

A disappointed Aylin just sits back down next to Ceylin and does her best to comfort her.

"Ilgaz is here, Baby Sister," she whispers. "Let's just hope our mother puts aside her pride long enough to let him help you."

~ * ~ * ~

"What are you doing here?"

Ilgaz clenches his hands into fists and does his best to hold himself in check. Aylin warned him that he'd have to get past her mother. But he didn't realize he'd have to face such a fire of pure hatred that he sees burning in her eyes.

"I'm here for Ceylin," is all he says, hoping this woman can put aside her anger for a moment, just long enough for him to help Ceylin calm down.

"Nobody here needs anyone from you or your people. Now get away from here before I call the police," Gül threatens.

This woman had welcomed him into her home, into her heart even, not two weeks ago. She had fed him. Embraced him. Treated him like a precious son. This disdain hurts. Ilgaz will admit to that. His mother's death had left a hole in him that his ex mother in law was beginning to fill. But now she can't even look at him without wanting to spit in his face. He can tell she's barely holding back.

"Please. She's suffering," Ilgaz begs. "Just let me go to her."

Right on cue, Ceylin lets out another cry and it tugs at his heart. But Gul remains unyielding. She leaves him with no choice. Muttering a quick "I'm sorry," Ilgaz manages to muscle his way past her and into the home, following Ceylin's cries to find her.

"Stop!" Gül calls after him. But he ignores her. Ceylin is his only concern. He'll deal with her mother later.

"Ceylin, I'm here," he says as he gently lifts her into his arms. He takes her into her room and closes the door behind him before anyone can stop him. "I'm here. It's okay."

It takes a bit longer than it did on the previous three nights, but he eventually gets her to calm down. And pretty soon, her breathing is slow and deep. Her limbs have lost all rigidity and she's relaxed and slack in his arms. He gives it a few more minutes to make sure she's truly asleep. But unfortunately he can't hold her for as long as he did on the other nights. He has to deal with whatever disaster he left outside this room door.

He's not surprised to see the police, guns drawn and pointing his way when he opens the door and steps out. He just raises his hands in surrender.