The Dreams That You Wish

Chapter 25

"Ilgaz."

Nothing. No response. She frowns at his continued obliviousness to her plight. How could he just ignore her at a time like this?

"Ilgaz," she whispers louder, this time leaning right over his ear. And this time, he at least snorts as he swats at the side of his face. She's triumphant for a second, thinking she's finally gotten his attention. But then his breathing goes back to the slow, deep breaths of one who is sound asleep.

She frowns again and lets out a frustrated sigh. He'd be no help in an emergency. For all he knows, this is an emergency.

She calls him again, this time poking him until he finally starts to blink open his eyes.

"Ceylin?" he asks sleepily. "What's wrong? Are you okay?"

His gruff voice makes her want to snuggle in his arms and lay her head on his chest. So much so that she almost forgets why she woke him in the first place. But she quickly gets a reminder.

"I'm hungry," she tells him when her stomach rumbles, the not so gentle reminder as to why they're both awake now. "The baby is hungry."

"At ...." He squints at the bedside clock to see the time. "2:45 in the morning?"

"The baby can't tell time," she explains, as if that should have been obvious.

"Ceylin," he sighs.

"Ilgaz, please," she begs. "I'm starving."

He just rubs at his eyes before tiredly dragging his body out of the bed. She follows him downstairs to the kitchen, stopping to take a quick peek in the nursery to check on Asen.

"Toast good?" he asks, digging into the bread box for the loaf he bought the day before. He gives her a look when he realizes it's already more than halfway gone.

"I didn't eat all of it. Çınar was here earlier and he made us a couple of his monster sandwiches. Your brother feeds me well and doesn't complain like you do," she teases him.

"That doesn't surprise me," Ilgaz grumbles. "I don't know what you said to him last week, but I think my little brother is halfway in love with you now."

She just smiles. A lot had been said. After the confrontation in the hospital, she knew she couldn't leave things the way they were. Çınar was hurting. The whole family was hurting. But that's just it ... they are a family. She married Ilgaz, so that makes her a part of their family and vice versa. And to her, family means forgiveness. What Çınar had said to her made her realize she owed him an apology. But he had come to her first.

"Are you okay, Ceylin abla?" he had asked the next morning after they left his father at the hospital. Ilgaz had taken Asen to get them all some hot bread to go with breakfast and Ceylin was up in the apartment alone making tea. They were going to invite him and Defne up anyway. But it surprised her to see Çınar at the door before Ilgaz could get them. "I shouldn't have yelled at you the way I did. I'm sorry."

Her heart had melted at that point. And she realized just how young Çınar was. How hurt and angry he had been. And how much of herself she saw in him.

"Come in," she had said, inviting him into the apartment. "Come sit with me."

She had led him to the couch and sat next to him. Then she turned to him to find him looking awkwardly down at his shoes. She gently cupped his jaw and turned his face to hers.

"I accept your apology. And I want to apologize to you as well," she started. "Everything you said yesterday at the hospital was absolutely correct. Your life has value, Çınar. You are important. And you had every right to fight for your life. I'm just sorry that my father tried to take that from you. I'm sorry you were ever in a situation like that because of him. And I'm sorry I ever made you feel guilt that you were able to walk away from that with your life. All life is precious, Çınar. Especially yours. Don't ever apologize for fighting for yourself, okay?"