The Dreams That You Wish

Chapter 16

"Anne," Ceylin says when she opens the door. "Thank you for coming."

Gül steps inside the house and Ceylin can't stop herself from pulling her mother into her arms. It's her mother. How can she not. Even if she isn't her mother's favorite person at the moment, she's not going miss any chance to love her.

Ceylin had to assure her mother that Ilgaz wouldn't be at home before she agreed to step one foot into the house. So she sent Ilgaz off to work and Asen off for a walk with Esma. They had the place to themselves. She imagines things might get a little tense, so she's glad for the privacy.

They sit at the table where she has tea and some little cakes that Esma made. Her mother takes a cake and nibbles absently at it, until her eyes widen in surprise.

"These are delicious," she exclaims through her shock. "Where did you get them?"

Ceylin isn't even offended that her mom didn't think she made them. Even though she isn't a terrible cook, she also isn't a very practiced one. And definitely not a baker. She's not even going to pretend she could have pulled these off alone. She watched Esma make them, though. That has to count for something.

"Esma abla made them." Ceylin starts to explain when her mother gives her a blank stare. "Esma abla and her husband Ibo run the Bed and Breakfast Ilgaz and I went to where we reconciled. And where we found Asen. She's here visiting."

"Here in Istanbul?"

"Yes," Ceylin nods. "And here in our home. She's staying with us for a little while, helping out with Asen, helping out around the house. That kind of thing. She's pretty wonderful."

"She's a stranger, Ceylin," her mother scolds her. "How much about her could you know?"

She's taken aback by her mother's open hostility towards Esma. Especially when Esma has been the one supporting her in ways her mother hasn't been. In ways she assumed her mother would be. No, she never thought she was entitled to anything from her mother. But she also thought that no matter what happened in her life, she'd always have her mother's love and support. That sadly hasn't been the case these past couple of months. Her mother may not know Esma. But Ceylin can fill her in on the kind of woman she is.

"I know that she was right there when we found Asen. She put him into my arms, in fact. I was terrified at the time, because he was so tiny. So still. So pale. But she laid him on my chest and made sure I kept him warm. He seemed so weak, but he was a fighter with his little heart beating right alongside mine. He was mine from that very moment. And from that very moment, Esma abla didn't leave my side. Even when we came back home, she's always been there for me."

The way you should have been. Ceylin decides to keep that thought to herself.

"Because of Esma abla, I'm okay. She's been a great help. But it's you that I'm worried about, Anne. I asked you here to see how you are. It's been a hard year for us all. First with Inci. Then I went to prison. Then Baba. I know Aylin took you to see a doctor after Inci. Are you still seeing her? Is she helping you deal with everything else?"

"Ceylin, I'm not the one who needs help. I know where all of our problems are coming from - the Kayas. But you don't seem to get that. So you're the one who needs help. I don't know what it's going to take to make you see that."

"Anne ..."

"Don't 'anne' me," her mother interrupts. "You're sleeping with the enemy. You've chosen them over us."

"Ilgaz isn't the enemy. My son certainly isn't the enemy either. I wish you could hear yourself."

"You're the one who can't hear, Ceylin. These people are killers. Why can't you see that? They killed your sister. They killed your father. They killed that poor girl and stole her baby. And you keep trying to shove him into my arms and call him my grandson. I won't have any part in it!"