The Dreams That You Wish

Chapter 6

It's been hours, and her hands are still shaking. But not for the reasons everyone thinks.

Seeing the dead bodies had shocked her, but that's not why her hands are shaking.

Finding the baby the way she did, also not why.

All of the events of the night that led to them being in this hospital, none of them matter more than one simple fact: this is the baby she had seen in her dream. The baby that had been hers in her dream. And that is why she's so shaken. She had known it the minute she saw his face, the minute she laid him next to her heart. And she doesn't know how to process that.

The minute they had walked into the hospital, a team of nurses descended upon them and reached for the baby. He had cried when they removed him from Ceylin's chest and the sound had broken her heart. Some instinct had her reaching for him again, but Ilgaz pulled her away so that he could get treatment. The medical staff quickly moved his tiny body to a warming mat so that the doctor could begin his examination. They wouldn't let Ceylin and Ilgaz stay for that first examination. No one knew the condition of the baby, and they didn't have much hope for a promising outcome based on how he was found. But he defied the odds and improved with each hour that passed. His body temperature is closer to normal. And he's even started eating a little. And each time, they've let Ceylin be the one to feed him.

"Ceylin."

She looks up when Ilgaz approaches, a cup of tea in hand. She takes it, if only to have something to hold to hide how much she's still shaking.

"Baby, you need to get some rest," he pleads with her for not the first time since they've been there. "The doctors say the baby is going to be okay. You should get some sleep while he's sleeping."

She knows that in her head. But her heart won't let her leave him.

"I don't want him to be alone, Ilgaz," she says with a sigh. "He started his life alone and in that closet. He couldn't even be with his mother. He couldn't even get her scent, her warmth. Do you know he shivered almost the entire trip to the hospital? I was so scared we wouldn't get here in time."

"You did good," Ilgaz praises her.

"I'm all he knows right now," she continues. "My warmth. My scent. I can't leave him."

"He might have someone else," Ilgaz reluctantly tells her. "The girl - and that's exactly what she was ... barely 18 - had a stepfather. The police are trying to contact him now."

Ceylin knows that he's trying to tell her not to get attached. But she's afraid it's too late for that.

~ * ~ * ~

Ilgaz and Esma watch through the window as Ceylin takes another turn at feeding the baby. Ilgaz is trying to stay realistic about the situation. They are strangers in a strange town. Strangers to this child. They are still technically divorced. Chances are slim that they'll ever see this baby again once they leave the hospital. Yet, he can see the yearning on Ceylin's face. And he can't help but instinctively want to make her happy.

"I think Ceylin wants to keep him," Ilgaz says quietly to Esma.

"And what do you want, Dove?"

Ilgaz just smiles before turning to her.

"My mom used to call me that," he says, a soft smile still on his lips. "You remind me a lot of her."

"Probably because you're so peaceful and gentle. The name suits you," Esma explains.

"That's exactly what she said too." Ilgaz misses having a mother. And it makes him sad that his mother in law doesn't even want to breathe the same air as him. It makes him even sadder that he sometimes feels the same way about his own father. One day he hopes that things won't be so ... difficult between the families. But for now ... he just lets out a sigh. For now, things are the way they are and he doesn't know what to do about anything. Especially the question Esma just asked. What does he want regarding this baby?