The Dreams That You Wish

Chapter 14

Ilgaz can tell something is wrong the minute Ceylin walks in the door. For one thing, Parla isn't with her. Ceylin left twenty minutes earlier to go get the girl so that they all could go to Çınar's going away party. Something must have happened at her mother's house. But mostly it's his heart telling him something is not right. When she hurts, he hurts. And right now, he can feel her pain. He brings a heart to his chest as if that would soothe the ache in them both.

"What happened?" he asks after taking Asen from her. He gives the boy a quick kiss on the cheek before laying him inside his playpen. When he turns back to Ceylin, she crashes into his chest and wraps her arms around him. She's shaking and that makes him even more worried.

"Ceylin?" he asks. "Did something happen? Is it your mother? Is she okay? Do we need to go to the hospital?"

Ceylin just squeezes him tighter before taking a few deep cleansing breaths.

"My mother is most definitely not okay," she finally says, once she's seemingly gotten herself under control. "But she's fine physically. It's so sweet of you to even be concerned."

She looks longingly at their couch before looking back up at him.

"Can we sit? I just need a minute."

"What happened?" he asks again after they get settled. Her eyes are damp, but she's stubbornly holding in her tears.

"I thought things were going to be different this time," she starts to explain. "My mother looked at Asen. Actually looked at him. She asked about him. She seemed genuinely interested in him. He even rolled over for her."

She can't help but look over at the baby with a smile. He's so precious. She can't even begin to understand how her mother can look at him the way she looks at him. So much hate. Anger.

"But when I mentioned something about your aunt watching him for us, she just shut down again. And when she realized Parla was coming with us to the party for Çınar, she refused to let me take her. Parla was crushed. Aylin just stood there and did nothing. And my mother let me know that I "ruin their peace" in the house whenever I come."

She lets out a sad, heavy sigh.

"Maybe it is me, you know?" she asks him, her voice so small that it tears him apart. "Maybe I am the problem. Maybe things really are fine for them without me. Maybe I keep trying to insert myself where I don't belong."

"Don't say that," he stops her, holding a finger up to her lips. "Don't ever say you don't belong in your own family. I know it's hard right now. But I also know that they do love you, Ceylin. And one day, your mother is going to come to herself. And she's going to realize what she's done to you. She's going to realize that it's her loss."

Ceylin leans her head on his shoulder and he wraps his arm around her, trying his best to take her pain into himself. But this is unfortunately one of those things he can't make better for her. Usually these things roll off her back, but lately she's been taking the rejection harder and harder. It's wearing her down. Not only from her family, but also his. His aunt won't seem to give her a break. And his father ... to be honest, his father hasn't been well. He continues to lose weight and his skin is nearly translucent now. His guilt a sickness that has been eating away at him. And for some reason Ceylin is blaming herself instead of realizing it's part of the consequences of his own actions. Ilgaz has never stopped loving his father. But what he did, no matter what way he self justified it, was hard to get past. Metin seems to realize even in his soul that there's no making up for it. And his soul is making him pay the price for it. So it would seem that Ceylin's mother isn't the only parent that needs help. Everyone is falling apart and somehow Ceylin and Ilgaz are still paying the price.