Through The Multiverse [Dr. Strange]

N.A.M.E

Bit of a time skip sorry!!

I know it hurts to smile, but you try to
Oh, you try to

You always try to hide the pain
You always know just what to say

It had been about eight months now since Tony passed. By now you would have thought things would be a hell of a lot easier but I feel like they're just ten times harder. Everyday being reminded by all of our finished or unfinished tech, the memorabilia around the city at every corner, street art of him across the building from us, and constant reminders every time I look at my phone. A photo of us together with Morgan and Pepper on the lake after we just finished the house. It seemed impossible still that I could show up there and he wouldn't walk out that door to greet me. "Jodie?"

The gentle voice pulled me from my reminiscence and I contorted my body to see over the chair. "Hey." Was all I could muster out. Trying to play it like everything was fine to the one person who saw right through me was always damning but I gave it my best shot everyday. My attention turned back to the window I was currently staring out of in my bedroom. The same chair I sulked in for months after I discovered the news of Stephen. It was a velvet chair, covered with a tacky design that fit the elegance of the Sanctum. My legs were draped over the arm of the chair while the rest of me sat at an unorthodox angle, drinking the last of my tea. I don't even remember how I ended up in this position or how I ended up with tea, a pattern I've been noticing this past week.

"Darling." His tender voice vibrated against my forehead before his lips left a light kiss. His silhouette came into view in front of the window. He kneeled in front of me, placing his hand on my thigh and the other on the arm of the chair. Stephen's hand instantly warmed my entire body and I had an inner rejoice at the feeling. I'm fully aware that he was going to try and pry me to talk about what was going on but I'd only be able to say that I was fine over and over again. It's what I was good at. "Let's go take a walk and get you out of the house."

"As tempting as that is Stephen, I'm just not in the mood."

"Oh, sorry I forgot to mention you don't get to choose." Stephen picked me up after quickly opening a portal, walking us through. He set me down and the grass immediately tickled my feet. The familiar feeling flushed me with memories of running in the yard with Morgan and Tony after she'd stolen one of our equipment pieces. Stephen's hand laced with mine as I switched my view to his eyes. "You know you can talk to me right? You don't have to go through this alone. Isn't that what boyfriends are for?"

"No, boyfriends are for bringing me sweets while I suffer on the inside and help you with your problems."

"I don't think that's right." Our bodies lightly bumped one another as we swayed in each others direction with large smiles on our faces. It was easy for me to comfortable with him, so why was it so fucking hard to just say what was really going on. This was the perfect place, the perfect scenery for me to feel comfortable and talk about how undeniably effected I still was by Tony's death. But it seemed impossible to form the words and say them aloud.

Realization set in that I was still wearing pajamas pants and a long sleeve scoop neck that had cozily slept in the night before. "You couldn't have changed my clothes? You got yourself dressed." Stephen stopped us in our tracks and drew his fingers over himself to reveal plaid pajamas pants and a tee shirt. The smile the grew on my face was the first one that felt real and was real, in months. No one else would've change into pajamas to walk in public, just to get me to open up. I guess the least I could do was give him a little insight for all of his hard work. "I still miss him."

"I know."

"I thought fighting it in silence would be the easiest form but you're probably right, again. It's probably just making this whole thing ten times worse."