My Guardian Angel (Liam Payne fanfiction) [UNDER EDITING]

Chapter 17

Chapter 17

"Have you ever had suicidal thoughts?" a therapist asked me. I stared at him. "Are you an idiot?" I asked. My head was throbbing terribly and I shifted on the hospital bed to get more comftorable. The therapist, who's name was Dr. Michaels, raised an eyebrow. "Before, Christina. I meant before your actual attempt." he said, sounding tired. And annoyed.

"Yes." I answered. There was no point lying about it. Dr. Michaels scribbled something on his clipboard. "Was there a reason for the thoughts and later on action?" he asked me a moment later. I bit my tongue. "Yes. I just don't like my life." I replied after carefully choosing my words. I expected him to write that down, but he just stared at me. He obviously knew there was more to the story.

I didn't offer anymore information, and giving up the effort, Dr. Michaels wrote my explanation down on the clipboard. "I find it strange that you tried to kill yourself, Christina. The boy with the accent who comes in here seems to make you happy. You didn't look upset with your life at all." he told me. I glared up at him. If he only knew Liam was the reason I hated myself.

Dr. Michaels left the room and there was silence for a good thirty minutes. My parents had come by earlier to tell me they had to fly out to Washington State since my dad's sister was in a car wreck. "I didn't know Catherine, who only got a few scratches, is more important than your daughter in the hospital is." I snapped at them before facing away. They had left in a stony silence.

I must have drifted off to sleep, because when I woke up, there was no lights shining through the windows anymore, indicating night time. There were three different pills on my night stand with a little glass of water, obviously from one of the nurses. I must've looked pretty peaceful when I was sleeping for them not to wake me up at the appropriate time for my pills.

I took them and rolled over to see my phone lit up with two new texts. I pulled it towards me and unlocked it. From Liam: 'I wanted to come and see you but I didn't know if you were awake. Hope you're okay, love.' There was a second one, also from him, with a emoji that was kissing. I smiled sleepily.

I pressed call and listened to the phone ring three times, until finally someone answered, "Hello?" Liam's voice was low and seductive, and it made me want to hug him, "Hello, sir." I said, laying down in the darkness. "Hey! I miss you." he said immediately, and I could hear it in his voice he was suddenly wide awake.

"Aw, I miss you too. But I saw you yesterday, remember." I reminded him. I couldn't help but be flattered at the same time. "That's too long. Can I come see you tomorrow?" he asked me eagerly. I sighed, and my mood darkened somewhat. "Seeing as I need a ride home from the hospital, yes."

Liam was silent for a moment. "Where are your parents?" I bit my tongue. I was still furious at them for not caring for me enough to even stay home while I recovered. I could attempt suicide again and they would never know. Wait. I wasn't supposed to be having those thoughts. "My aunt got into a minor wreck. They flew up to Washington state to stay with her."

I could tell by the awkward silence Liam didn't approve. He had struck me as a caring and fatherly person, someone who liked helping and wouldn't leave if someone he loved needed help. "Of course. What time?" he asked me. I thought for a moment. "Eight or nine, I want to get out of here."

"That early? Oh, I don't know Christina. I really want to sleep in." Liam joked. "Ha ha ha." I replied, though I was smiling at my phone stupidly. "I'm kidding. I'll be there at eight on the dot." he promised me. I glanced at the clock. It was almost eleven. "I should let you get some beauty sleep." I paused.

"Even though you're beautiful with or without it." I added. Liam bursted out laughing at the other end. "Oh, God. That was so terrible. I'm so sorry." I stuttured, completely embarassed. "Don't be, you are so adorable." Liam said breathlessly after a few more seconds of laughter.

I smiled again. "Please don't forget me in the morning." I said as I yawned. "I could never forget you." Liam told me quite seriously. My heart raced a little faster, and I yearned for him to be there with me. "Good night, Liam." I said. "Good night. And, Christina," Liam began. "Yes?" I asked quietly. "I love you." he finished.

Sure enough, at eight on the dot the next morning, Liam was walking into my room, swinging his car keys around his finger. "Good morning, gorgeous." he said, planting a kiss on my forehead. "Hi." I said sleepily. I hadn't gotten much sleep after those three words last night. I hadn't even been able to tell them back, because I had momentarily forgotten how to speak.

After the nurse told me specifically about my therapy session dates, and if I had anymore suicidal thoughts or actions to call someone, I was allowed to leave. Liam carried me out to his car and set me in the passenger seat. It was fall break, and the football team had gone to Texas for a huge tournament. It left me and Liam alone until Friday night.

We inched along in early morning San Diego traffic. "I think you owe me an explanation." Liam said after twenty minutes of getting only a mile. I could tell he'd been itching to say that. "Okay." I replied, locking my phone and putting it in my pocket to give him my undivided attention.

Liam wet his lips, which probably wasn't meant to be seductive but was. Incredibly... "What happened a few days ago? You were fine, then all of a sudden... you were miserable." he said after a minute. I looked away. "I've had depression for a while. Sometimes it hits harder than others."

"But you've never tried to kill yourself before." Liam pointed out. I sighed. "No. But I've had suicidal thoughts for a year. You.. you kind of made it all better. But what it is Liam, and you're going to have to understand this, depression is horrible. I can't stop it sometimes when it hits. For a while I thought you made it all go away but I was wrong. It's something we'll both have to live with if we ever want to have a chance."

I took my water bottle from the console and took a long gulp. There was a huge lump in my throat from wanting to cry. I didn't mean to be so emotional. He just had to understand this happened with depression sometimes. He should actually be glad he doesn't have it and my suicide attempt didn't work.

Liam grabbed my hand and I saw he had tears glistening in his beautiful brown eyes. "Why are you crying?" I asked desprately. I hated this. I stopped there. "You don't understand how badly I want to understand you Christina. How badly I want you. It just isn't fair I can't have you in that way just yet." he whispered as we started taking a back road to my house.

I blinked rapidly to fight away any tears that threatened to spill over. We didn't speak, just sat there, hand in hand, the rest of the way to my house. When we got there he came around and carried me to the front door, since my legs were wobbly and I couldn't walk very well.

He came upstairs with me to tuck me into bed, since I was pretty much overcome with tiredness. I grabbed his hand before he could leave and wouldn't let go. "What do you need?" he asked me quietly. "Just don't leave. Please." I whispered, pulling him closer. Without another word, he climbed into bed beside me and pulled me close. "I love you too, Liam." I said into his chest.