My Guardian Angel (Liam Payne fanfiction) [UNDER EDITING]

Chapter 37

***this is kind of just a short filler chapter so I could write the dramatic (and final!) chapter a lot better and longer. I will post it soon.***

I sat outside Liam's hospital room, unable to make my feet move. I felt sick, so sick it was making the room spin. No one was walking down or up the hallway; a deafening silence was cast upon the hall. making it seem longer and more bare.

My heart was lurching in my chest, calling for me to go to Liam. Move, Christina. I repeated those words to myself over and over, but gave up when the tears began to fall down my face. I sobbed in the hospital, my legs giving out and causing me to slide to the floor, wrapping my arms around my knees as I brought them up against me. I felt my heart slowly break, and I almost screamed from the internal agony I was feeling. It wasn't fair. It just wasn't fair.

I stayed like this for god knows how long before forcing myself to stand up. I had to see Liam before I left, and I knew visiting hours were almost over. Wiping a few stray tears with the back of my hand, I got up, hesitating on the door knob to his room. After gathering up the courage I walked in to see him asleep.

Liam looked so fragile, so small in the bed my heart ached and broke for him at the same time. I looked around the room, expecting someone to approach me, but no one did. I almost burst into tears at the sight of five words and some numbers: "Patient Kidney Replacement Surgery Tomorrow 7am". He had a donor. He would be okay.

I sat gently on the bed beside his sleeping body, determined not to wake him up. I took his hand in mine, taking a shaky breath. I don't know why I did, but suddenly I began talking. "Well, Liam, I think we made it," I brought his hand to my mouth, kissing it gently like he had done to me all those times. "It's crazy, right? We made it.

"I thought I was going to lose you. It was... Scarier than I would've thought. I mean, you're my Liam, right? My guardian angel. I couldn't have lost you." I felt a small smile creep to my lips as he shifted in his sleep at the three words. 'My guardian angel'. They had such a melodic ring to them, one that made my stomach get butterflies. Liam always made me feel this way; nervous, but so happy at the same time. I was so in love with him.

"Remember when you first kissed me? I barely knew you, but it was like you set my heart on fire. I hated the world, Liam, and you made me see that there was good. There was light in this crazy, fucked up world." Tears gathered in my eyes, but a bigger smile came to my lips. "No one made me feel this way, ever. Not Daniel, or anyone else. Just you. And trust me, no one besides you ever will."

I swallowed nervously. "What happens if you don't want me anymore? Do you? I wouldn't. All I've done is screw everything up. You pretty much almost died because of me. You won't forgive me, I know. But I can't stop loving you, and I won't stop. So even if you leave me, which you probably will, I'll love you forever." I didn't know what I was doing, or why I was talking to someone that was sleeping but I couldn't stop.

"I know we're barely adults, Liam, I know that. But I can't imagine not spending the rest of my life with you. You've completed me, protected me, loved me when I couldn't love myself. We can't.. We can't just throw that away. I can't, at least. You're going to get better, I know you will. But will you really? If I'm broken, what will you be like? You've always been so strong, I don't want to be the reason you break." Tears were streaming down my face again as my smile dropped. My heart tore a little, watching him, so broken mentally and physically.

I sat there for a minute, deciding what else I wanted to say. I wanted to tell him I loved him a million times, but I wanted him to be awake. I desperately wanted to hear that he loved me, though after this he probably wouldn't. It didn't hurt to hope, though, right? I could still believe he would love me, after all of this. Would it be easy for him to walk away? I swallowed thickly, realizing it hadn't been a problem for anyone else.

The door opened quietly suddenly, and I jumped instinctively. A nurse stood there smiling apologetically. "I'm sorry, visiting hours tomorrow. He should be out of surgery sometime around noon tomorrow, so you can come in at about one." She smiled politely, leaving the room to give me another minute. I squeezed Liam's hand and released it, kissing his cheek softly. "I love you. My guardian angel."