Emerald Embers | Ninjago Greenflame OneShots

Don't Leave Without A Love List (OLD) - angst (request)

Happy Pride Month!!!!

There's some comfort at the end of this I swear but this is a fic I've wanted to make since i started making fanfiction so its gonna take a while but I hope yall enjoy this!

Especially you, tasleemkzahid !
Thank you so much for the request!

Third Person POV

Lloyd stood in front of the bathroom mirror. He made the choice hours ago, but now it was time to take things seriously.

If he'd told his past self what his thought process was, a part of him would slap himself. And the other, more prominent half, would agree.

Everything started out as fine as it could've been.

The day went as normal, a calm and nice morning with his boyfriend. Since he and Kai had moved in together, things have been better. Lloyd's had less sleepless nights, less crying sessions, and way less moments of severe doubt and depression.

Their friends supported it, their parents supported it, and they couldn't give two shits about those bastards on the internet. Things were almost perfect.

But, of course, Lloyd's mind always makes things worse somehow.

He broke down. Kai did his best to help and it worked. In the moment it did, at least.

Kai has always been like this with him. An ever-growing flame showing nothing but warmth, protection and comfort.

Lloyd saw himself then, through the same mirror's reflection as he was on the floor, bawling his eyes out. Pathetic, teary eyed and clinging to this beautiful flame for dear life.

But that was just it. Kai shouldn't have been his. Lloyd didn't deserve to be Kai's.

Seeing himself now, the statement was no different.

He doesn't deserve anyone, let alone someone so caring, sweet, and beautiful. So he had to leave. Or at least distance himself.

This was the right choice. It had to be.

But leaving wasn't going to be easy.

Lloyd came back to reality, the apartment silent and dark in the night, and turned towards their bedroom.

He eyed every little thing he owned, T-shirts, pillows, random gifts... almost all of it belonged to Kai before.

He scoffed to himself. 'Does he really think I deserve being spoiled like this..?'

It would be a hassle to move any of it out, but there were still some questions. Where would be go? How much of this would he take? Would he even tell him?

One of those questions, he knew the answer to. He can't tell him. All it would do is make Kai feel pity for him and reluctantly force him to stay.

Lloyd glances to his boyfriend's sleeping frame. He always seem happier when he's alone, when he's not with him.

Kai can't lie to him any longer. Lloyd knows the truth. The truth in his mind that nobody else in the world would clarify, but his mind convinced him of it long ago.

He's not funny.

He's not smart.

He's not beautiful and he certainly isn't all the things Kai claims to be true.