Alya Black| Remus lupin

chapter 9

to say james was nervous would be an understatement, he was freaking out so bad that the black siblings thought he'll back out. to others, it was a normal sunday lunch at the potter's like they always had. Sirius stayed the night to plan out everything with alya because if james stayed then so would've lily. the plan was perfect and very minimalistic, just how lily liked. whilst lily was helping out Euphemia in the kitchen the james, alya, remus and Sirius sat in the living room, trying to calm down james.

"what is she says no, or-or what if she leaves me, I can't let her leave me. I mean she has her choice but I don't want her to leave me. i'll make a fool of myself and then no woman will love me and i'll die alone! but I don't want another woman, I want lily!" james ranted.

"she won't leave you mate, she loves you" remus said.

"but what if I make her awkward and then everything between us gets awkward."

alya took a deep breath. "look, you're not supposed to know this and don't ever tell this to anyone or you'll have a dead sister, BUT i'm a 100% sure lily will say yes"
"how do you know that?" james asked

"ya, how DO you know that" sirius added questioningly.

"about a month ago, remember me and the girls were in the garden for an hour, talking?" the boys nodded. "we were talking about how with the war and everything going on our lives will be forever changed and just turning into an adult we'll miss out on normal stuff like going out on a stroll, hanging out with your families, the kids going to school, the constant worry about if our family members are alive or worse not being tortured all the time. lily said she'd do anything to do either getting married or-or to have kids, she knows she's young but she also knows that the war is only going to get worse everyday before fading and with the constant risk of getting killed while being in the order is high and this was the only chance she'll get to have a normal life. she loves you james, I know she'll say yes."

james brought alya in a hug, a comfortable silence in the room. "thankyou, I needed that" he said in a muffled voice.

"JAMES! SIRIUS! YOU'RE NEEDED IN THE KITCHEN" lily yelled from the said place.

"COMING" both the boys yelled back in sync.

"it's gonna be ok, you're gonna be ok" alya smiled.

"no." he said. "we're gonna be ok"

alya turned to her boyfriend once her brother and bestfriend left, who sat next to her with his arm over her shoulders, looking outside the window.

"you ok rem?"

"do you, also think about it?"

"about what?"

"the war and how nothing's gonna be the same"

"I mean I try not to, to think about the war but yeah, it crosses my mind every now and then"

remus's hand slid down to her waist as he pulled her in closer, letting her rest her head on his chest.

"do you?" she asked.

remus chuckled. "all the time, yeah. but I don't think i'm ready or if i'll ever be ready to get married or to have kids, can't put them through my condition. scared they'll get hurt."

"remus, you know you're the nicest guy. having a person like you as a husband, anybody would be lucky"
"they'll hate me, they'll hate the monster inside me. nobody can love me, I don't deserve it"

"do you really think that low of me? you think i'm with you out of pity or that i'm scared of you? you deserve all the love in the world remmy, and i'm greatful to be someone to show you that love."