The moon cast its silver spotlight over the school grounds. There was a slight breeze, making the night air cool. A lot better than it being stuffy. Nefeli quietly walked over the forest floor, making her way through the trees. Every now and then, she had to either duck down or move a tree branch out of the way. She'd been walking for quiet a while, probably about 30 minutes. She finally got to where she needed to be. She emerged out on to a ledge that looked out over a large cliff. She walked up to the edge, looking down. It was a long fall from the top. But, it would be over quickly, if she landed right. All of her pain, physical and mental, it could all be over in the blink of an eye. If she made sure she jumped a certain way, she'd land in a way that wouldn't even give her a chance to feel anything.
She'd be dead by the time she would realize it.
Nefeli stared down at the drop beneath her, probably about 500 feet was her guess. It was dark, but she knew what would be waiting for her at the bottom. Sharp, slippery, rocks that rested comfortably while heavy ocean waves crashed over them. Nobody would find her body. The sea will have washed it away, by the time her presence would be noticed was missing. She'll be long dead, by the time anyone decided to miss her. Not even a trace of her left behind. It would be as if she never existed. Just the mere thought of disappearing like that, brought her some relief. At least her presence wouldn't bring too much of a burden to those who would bother to remember her. Not if she could just disappear so quickly. It would be nice. The thought of it sounded nice.
Nefeli slowly stepped closer to the edge, the slight breeze blowing right through her hair. She closed her eyes, sighing softly. She could smell the salt from the sea, which brought a small bit of nostalgia to her. She let herself fall deep into the smell of the sea, not really thinking much of her decision.
Why should she? She was making it and loads of people wanted her to make it. So, why not?
She gave a soft sigh, a sign of defeat that they had caused. She didn't want to take it anymore. She didn't want to deal. She wanted it all over with. She was tired of these dark voices in her head, screaming at her about how wrong she was to trust all 7 of those boys. She never should've. She was better off alone. If she'd have stayed that way, she wouldn't be here. But, she didn't stay alone, so she was really here. And she was done with it, done with all of it. No more voices, no more screaming. No more doubt. All of it, gone. All she had to do, was step off. And that's exactly what she did. She took a deep breath, finally allowing herself to step off the edge.
Arms suddenly wrapped around her waist, stopping her from falling. Nefeli was quickly yanked back away from the cliff, being forced to hit the hard ground. She let out both a pained and surprised cry. Sharp pain shot up her side, making her wince.
"Idiot, what the hell were you thinking? Are you stupid?"
Nefeli looked up, hearing the familiar voice yelling at her. Towering above her, keeping her pinned, was Sunghoon. He was glaring down at her, clearly not happy with what she'd almost done. She frowned up at him, her surprise going away. She looked away from him.
"I was just doing what was right," she said softly.
"What was right? What the hell makes you think jumping off of a cliff, was the right thing? Huh?" Sunghoon snapped down at her.
"It's what everyone wants. I was just doing what all of you didn't want to say. I was merely making the decision that's best for all of you," Nefeli stated.
"What the hell are you talking about? How do you know that would've been what's best for us? You don't know! You don't know shit! You know nothing, because you're--"
"Because I'm pathetic? You're right, I am. Which is why it's the right decision to make. I was only doing everyone a favor," she cut him off, frowning.
"Bullshit! The only favor you'd have been doing us, is causing us to suffer, had you done it! What if I hadn't saw you leave the school? What if I didn't follow you? You'd be dead!" Sunghoon yelled down at her.
"Exactly! I'd be dead! Why did you follow me? Why did you stop me? What happened to saying that I'd contaminate your things? You don't care! None of you do! All of you only pretend to care about me! I already know about it, so you don't have to keep lyingq!" Nefeli yelled back at him.
She managed to shove him off of her, getting to her feet. She was trembling from fear and anger and stress. She walked back to the cliff edge, but he grabbed her hand, stopping her.
"Let go of me, this is what I want," she told him, trying to pull away from him.
"No it isn't. You don't want this. You're doing this because you feel you have to. Who told you to do it?" Sunghoon snapped back at her, not letting go of her.
"Nobody told me! I'm doing this of my own choice! Now, let go of me! This is what I want! I'm better off dead!" she cried out.
He glared at her, but he finally let go of her hand. The lack of support, caused her to stumble slightly. She looked at him, her heart racing in her chest. It was hurting from how worked up she was. She put a hand on her chest, gently rubbing it, trying to ease the pain.
"If this is what you really want, fine. I'll just leave you to it," he snapped at her.
Nefeli looked up, watching him walk away. She turned around and went back to the edge, looking down. She could hear the waves crashing over the rocks at the bottom. She let out a shaken up breath, as her chest began aching again. The pain slowly became worse, feeling like somebody was ripping her heart out. She had to swallow a nervous lump in her throat. She would have jumped by now. But, she didn't. She couldn't. Something was stopping her. It wouldn't let her go through with it. The pain in her chest got really bad, to the point she felt like she couldn't breathe. She let out a gasp, reaching up and gripping the front of her shirt.
"No, I can't," Nefeli sobbed out, crying.
Tears filled her eyes, pouring down her face. She slowly stepped away from the cliff, gasping loudly. She would've fell. But, she felt arms go around her waist, catching her and preventing her from doing so. Instead, they carefully lowered her to her knees on the grass. She sniffled, looking up in front of her. Sunghoon was kneeling in front of her, still towering over her.
"I'm.. I'm just.." she stuttered out, unable to form a proper sentence.
He put a hand on her face, using his thumb to caress her cheek, wiping away her tears.
"Shh, it's okay," he said softly.
Nefeli looked up at him again, still in the middle of crying. She weakly moved her hands up to his face, touching it. Sunghoon frowned as she touched him. Not because he didn't want to be touched. But, because he could see how upset she was and felt her trembling. He could feel her hands shaking.
Nefeli said nothing as she slowly wrapped her arms around his neck, leaning into him. He put his other arm around her waist, holding her. She whimpered quietly, tears still rolling down her cheeks. He held her tightly against him, feeling like he'd betrayed her.
He hated that feeling.
Nefeli buried her face into his shoulder, sniffling quietly. Her cries were muffled from it. She weakly gripped the back of his shirt collar, shaking in his arms. He didn't let go of her once. He held her tightly, the entire time. By the time she was ready to go back to Decelis, he still didn't let go of her. Instead, he helped her to stand, before sliding his arm underneath her legs, picking her up. She weakly laid her head against his chest, still trembling and still a bit scared. She wrapped one of her arms around his shoulders, so she could hold on to him.
The walk back to Decelis, was quiet. It was a painful and awkward silence. Nefeli was too afraid to say something, though. In case Sunghoon might get mad.
