Secret smile

30

Meredith hated being here. She was aware that the thought alone made her a horrible daughter, she knew this. Her mom was sick, really really sick and a good daughter would want to be there for her. But she didn't want to be here. After here she was going to go to the trailer and she would rather be there. She would rather spent time with her best friend than with her mother. Her mother was sitting in her chair, staring at the table in front of her with the same concentration she used to stare at a patient. She hadn't said anything yet. It always made Meredith nervous when her mom didn't say anything at first. She was terrified that one day, she would get here, and all her mom would do was groan or...something. Not move and not talk and..."Mom," she murmured, reaching to squeeze her mom's hand.

Her mom didn't respond but she turned and looked at her, her eyes wide and confused. Ellis Grey never looked confused. She hated being confused. "Who are you?"

"It's me, Mom. It's...me, Meredith. Your daughter."

"My daughter is five."

"No, Mom. I...it's me. I'm Meredith."

"Don't be ridiculous. You're an adult, not my daughter."

"Mom..." Meredith groaned.

"I'm sorry, I don't know who you are," Ellis frowned.

"It's...it's okay, Mom," Meredith murmured. "It's okay."

"I...I have to get to work," Ellis breathed.

"You...you are at work, Dr. Grey."

"I am?"

"You are," Meredith whispered, taking a deep breath. "You're about...you're scrubbed in."

"Who are you?" she asked again.

"Mom..." Meredith whispered, tears in her eyes as she pushed the breakfast tray forward. "You...the nurses said you won't eat. Are...are you hungry?"

"I don't have time to eat," Ellis groaned. "I have to get into the OR and my daughter...she's driving me crazy."

"I...I know, Mom. But...you have to eat. You won't eat and...you have to eat."

"I don't have time!" Ellis snapped.

"Okay but...please?"

"Fine," Ellis rolled her eyes. "Give me something I can snack on while doing my charts. I swear, the interns are useless this year. Nothing like when Richard and I were in the program."

"I'm...okay, eat...can you eat the sandwich?"

"Give it to me."

"Here, Mom," Meredith pushed the sandwich towards her.

"Thank you," Ellis nodded, but she didn't pick up the sandwich. "Do you have children, Dr...I'm sorry, I don't believe I caught your name."

"I...Meredith. And no."

"Keep it that way. My daughter is...she's a handful. Ever since her father left, nothing can make her happy."

"That's...that's not true."

"Her father was just a big of handful, dispicaple weak man but he managed to keep her under control and out of my hair. She doesn't seem to understand how important my job is."

"I..." Meredith sighed, shaking her head as she stared at her hands.

"I hope when she's older she appreciates everything I have done for her, just because I won't give her those silly dolls..."

"I do, Mom."

"She needs to learn how the world works. Her life isn't about to be a fairy tale."

"I know," Meredith sighed. "Mom...you need to eat."