Secret smile

41

It was actually cold out, actually completely cold and Meredith wasn't sure if she was supposed to suggest to Derek's mom going inside or not. The older woman was sitting across from her, just watching her, and Meredith was pretty sure she was supposed to suggest going in to get out of the cold or whatever. Except Derek had come back out for a second to wrap a blanket around her, and she was actually pretty warm. And Derek's mom was definitely dressed warmly so maybe it was okay to stay outside. She didn't want to actually imagine the trailer with three people in it but she imagined that it would be kind of crowded. So it might actually be good to sit outside as at least it wasn't crowded and she didn't have to worry about sitting on Derek's bed with Derek's mom, which just sounded really awkward or something.

She actually liked Derek's mom. She was...momish. Really, really momish. Meredith hadn't ever really had a momish mom and Mrs. Shepherd was...she probably had chocolate chip cookies and stuff on plates with milk and made Halloween costumes and...she was a mom. Meredith actually liked her, a lot. But the way Mrs. Shepherd was staring at her was making her slightly uncomfortable. It was definitely weird. From what she had seen of Derek's mom, she usually smiled a lot and laughed and she was kind of like Derek on his better days and Sophie before she got pregnant but now she was looking at Meredith like something was growing out of the side of her head and Meredith was kind of considering killing Derek. She had no idea what but he must have said something to her. She wasn't sure what Derek would have said, because they usually kept each other's secrets and Derek didn't know completely about her tequila and boys thing so...she wasn't sure what Derek would have said. So instead of thinking about that, she stared right back, watching as Mrs. Shepherd rubbed her knee slightly. "I...um...are you okay, Mrs. Shepherd?"

"Just my arthritis acting up, dear," Mrs. Shepherd smiled.

"Oh," Meredith murmured. Arthritis. Mrs. Shepherd was old even if she didn't seem old but she had to be pretty old.

"Don't worry. I'm fine."

"I'm not...we could go inside or...okay."

"No. I'd like a chance to talk to you some without that pesky son of mine listening in."

"Talk...talk to me?"

"Of course. You're my son's best friend."

"You...you probably want to talk about Lexie and Mark..."

"No, actually."

"Oh," Meredith breathed

"I'd like to know how long you've been in love with my son."

"What?"

"How long have you been in love with my son?"

"I'm not...Mrs. Shepherd, I'm not in love with...I'm not."

"Oh Meredith, I know what I see."

"I don't...I'm not. I'm not."

"It's fine if you are."

"I...I'm not. I'm not, Mrs. Shepherd. That would be and...I'm not. I'm not in love or...I am. I mean...he's Derek and funny and...Dereky."

"And you're in love with him," Mrs. Shepherd nodded firmly.

"I..." Meredith murmured, staring at the blanket around her.

"I think it's wonderful. I just want to know how long you've felt this way."

"I don't..." Meredith breathed and then nodded slowly. "A few days. Or...longer but I only realized it a few days ago."

"I noticed the change."

"You did?"

"The way you looked at him when he went inside."

"I...shit," Meredith whispered and then her eyes widened. "I didn't...sorry, language. I know. Derek told me you hate bad language and sorry. I just...Derek doesn't notice, does he?"