Secret smile

54

He was really trying to ignore the fact his palms were sweating. Because he was a world famous surgeon. He was calm and cool and collected. Derek Shepherd's palms did not sweat, it was just unheard of, completely unheard of. It was just he was a little nervous. Because he couldn't remember the last time he had gone on a first date. Or he vaguely remembered it but it had been years ago. His last first date had been years ago, when he had been in college and laughing and still trying to figure out this whole attractive thing. He hadn't really even been this nervous then. But there was something about this, something about going on a first date after Amy, with Meredith. He was excited, but he was also nervous as hell. But this was going to be great. He was going to have a good night.

He loved spending time with Meredith. He was pretty sure it had become his favourite thing to do and he wasn't nervous about spending time with her. That would be completely insane. She was his best friend and there was something between them, whatever it was, and he had no reason to be nervous about a date with Meredith. He wanted to go on a date with her. But still, this was all new. Or not new, but new to him all over again. After everything he had been through the last few years, the last thing he had expected was to be at this point again. He had just never expected to be driving to a girl's house to pick her up for a date at a nice restaurant that he had done a lot of research on. But here he was, pulling up to Meredith's house, and he was sweating.

Meredith would giggle if she knew. She would giggle and softly remind him that it was just her, nothing big and special. But it felt huge. When Amy had died, he had never wanted to move on. It sounded a little silly now but he had never thought he would even want to be here. And now he was. And it was with Meredith, who had been his anchor and everything for too long. Now, she was about to be something else. After she had left the trailer that morning, laughing as she gathered her clothes that had been all over the place, he had gotten the distinct feeling that Meredith Elizabeth Grey was about to become something else, something he had never been sure he had wanted. So here he was, in his blazer and dress pants, wondering if he should have brought flowers. It was probably good he didn't. Meredith didn't seem like the flower kind of girl. Of course up until the last couple of weeks he hadn't thought of her as the date kind of girl and he was pretty sure in all the time he had known her, this was her only date. Which made sense knowing what he did about her but still, she didn't seem to like flowers so it was probably fine.

He took a deep breath, running his hand over his hair and then almost cursing himself for it before moving to ring her doorbell. She had been nervous about this whole picking up thing, her room mates would have questions or something, but apparently her room mates were all working tonight and it was Lexie's job to help her get ready, whatever that meant. "Derek!" Lexie exclaimed as she threw open the door.

"Hey Lex," Derek smiled.

"You look great," Lexie grinned. "I knew you would and I told Mer to dress up and...because you would be dressed up and...you didn't bring flowers, did you?"

"No," he frowned. "That's good, right?"

"Really good," she smiled widely before leaning forward. "She was freaking out that you would and then it would be all over."

"She...if I had brought flowers she wouldn't go out with me?"

"Apparently."

"Good I didn't bring them," Derek sighed.

"Definitely good," Lexie grinned, stepping back. "This is so exciting. I haven't gotten to do this since Moll was in high school."

"I'm glad someone is excited," Derek breathed, fighting the urge to run his fingers through the curls he had spent too much time perfecting.