Secret smile

39

Meredith shifted slightly in Derek's arms, her eyes opening slowly and then closing again when the glare of the TV met them. Movie. They had been watching a movie and she had been tired and now...she wasn't actually sure what had happened. She moved slightly, checking Derek's watch on the nightstand and yawned widely. Three in the morning. She had been asleep for almost four hours. She should probably get up and leave. She and Derek didn't do the sleeping together in bed. They cuddled but she would leave when the movies were done. But somehow she had fallen asleep. Which was fine but she should definitely move. Moving would probably be really good. But Derek's bed was really comfortable, which probably had more to do with Derek than the actual bed.

His arms were warm as they held her close to his chest and she let her eyes fall closed for a second again, enjoying the feeling of resting in her best friend's arms. She should be moving, she should be getting up and either going home or sleeping on the couch. But she didn't want to; she just wanted to be here for a little bit longer. She wanted to cuddle in Derek's arms and just...relax. It was okay. It would be okay to lie here for a bit longer and just enjoy this. She always enjoyed being in his arms. It was safe. It was a weird word to use but it was the only one she could think of, when Derek was holding her, she always felt quite safe. His arms were warm and strong and sometimes if she tried not to think too much, it was almost like they were normal. They were something other than best friends. Best friends who cuddled and were always together and...not that she wanted to be anything more. She didn't. Derek was...he was her best friend and being more was stupid or something. So she wasn't going to think about being normal. Because this was normal. They were friends and this was their normal, so that was it. She was going to just stay here.

It wasn't like he was going to care. If Derek woke up he'd probably just go back to sleep because he definitely seemed to like cuddling with her. She had no idea what it was. Because she had had guy friends before and they had never done anything like this but that was okay. She liked doing this with Derek. Derek was really cuddly or something. So she could just stay in his bed. His arms tightened around her and she rubbed her hands lazily up and down them, surprised by how tight they actually felt. Warm. She felt warm. After the last two days, spending so much time with his family as his anchor, she needed to feel safe and warm. And she did. She felt so...something. Something that involved not being able to breathe now that Derek's arms were tightening even more over her chest.

"Hmmm..." he groaned slightly, shifting in his sleep.

"Derek?" she murmured.

"No!" he suddenly gasped, a shudder running over his body.

"Oh," Meredith breathed, tightening her grasp on his arms. Nightmare. Nightmare, he was definitely having a nightmare. "Derek..."

"No, no," he whimpered.

"It's...Derek," she struggled to sit up as his body shook, his arms crushing her lungs. "Derek, Derek, wake up."

"Hmmm..." he moaned, his head shaking desperately. "Stop...stop..."

"It's okay, Der," she breathed into his ear. Sweat pooled on his forehead as his entire body trembled violently. "Derek...please. Wake up."

"No! No!" he gasped, his chest heaving. "Help."

"I'm here. Derek, I'm here and...wake up. Wake up."

"Hmmm..." he groaned, his eyes popping open. "Mer..."

"I'm here," she whispered. "Derek, I'm here."

"Oh..." he gasped for breath. "Oh..."

"It's...breathe," she murmured into his ear. "Breathe, Derek."