Little Bird

Chapter 8

I stomped around the living room angrily. Stopping to rub at my sore throat. I had to figure out a plan, and fast. The handler knew that we wouldn't make it in time, Now I'm sure the kill order was still in place since I was not back where I belonged.

"What are you still doing here?" I heard Five snap as he made his way back into the building.

"Look pal, I committed mass murder to get back to 2019. I am not leaving now" I turned to face him, scowling. He glared at me for a moment longer before moving into the bedroom as Luther chased after him. I followed and leaned against the doorframe, watching as Five started chugging water, and lots of it. Suddenly the dots started to connect.

"Five, are you okay?" Luther turned towards me "Is he okay?" I shook my head no and watched Five grab a bottle of baby powder.

"You stupid mother-" Luther nudged me, cutting off my sentence. I glared at him before turning and looking back at Five.

"What's with the baby powder?" Luther asked

"It'll help with the itching" I answered for Five. Luther looked towards me shocked

"What itching? There's itching? What the hell is going on here?!" Five started putting the powder in his shorts, I raised a brow and picked at my nails. Luther looked between Five and I and then it clicked in his ape brain.

"You do have a plan! And y/n knows what it is!"

"Well, she's not as stupid as I thought" Five gave me his signature sarcastic grin. I returned it with a middle finger.

"But you are, Five, you can't just go and find yourself!" I yelled at him, The more Five stretched and prepared, the more I realized he was serious about this.

"What's going on? Somebody just fill me in"

"Luther, if you recall, I was sent to 1963 on a job by the commission to make sure the president was assassinated."

"Your old self is just walking around Dallas?"

"Walking around Dallas with a briefcase that can get us home." I commented, moving to sit on a chair.

"However, there are two significant problems with this plan. Problem number one: I am a trained assassin, arguably" He glanced at me "The most dangerous assassin in the space-time continuum. If I know myself, I am not going to react kindly to bumping into myself. Problem number two, and this is the real fly in the ointment here: You're not supposed to exist in close proximity to yourself in the same timeline. The side effects can be.. Disastrous." Five explained.

"That's an understatement" Luther looked between Five and I bewildered.

"What kind of side effects?"

"Well according to Commission Handbook Chapter 27 subsection 3b-" I started but Five cut me off

"The seven stages in paradox psychosis are, stage one: denial, stage two: itching, stage three: extreme thirst and urination, four: excessive gas, five: acute paranoia, six: uncontrolled perspiration, and seven..."

"Homicidal Rage" Five and I said in unison.

"I don't know if this is such a good idea" Luther spoke up, I pointed towards him. "And I agree with Luther 100%"

"It's a hail mary, but what choice do we have Luther?" Five walked away from us, growing increasingly more frustrated.

"I don't know, you already seem a bit squirrelly if i'm being honest" Luther said, and Five came back to our direction. He grabbed my wrist and pulled me closer to Luther.

"Look, you guys. I'm gonna need your help to get me through this one.. I need spotters"

"What is that? Like a wingman?" Luther asked. Five nodded

"In case the paradox psychosis gets too severe, I need you two to help me stay on task, all right? So whatever happens, whatever I say, we need to get that briefcase, okay?"

Luther and I both shared a look before turning back to Five, nodding. "Yeah, okay"

Five grabbed my elbow as I went to move towards the door "And you, don't do anything funny, you'll be in both of our sights" I sighed and rolled my eyes. "Five, you need to let this delusion go, I'm not a shady person"

"I don't trust you"

"You trusted me enough to stick your tongue down my throat" I threw back at him and crossed my arms. Luther cleared his throat, awkwardly scratching his head looking between the two of us.

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We arrived at an Irish themed bar, I trailed after Luther and Five. Noticing Five immediately tensing.

"Well, there I am!" Five exhaled, and I looked over his shoulder to see an older man in a suit, scribbling something on a piece of paper. The black briefcase we were looking for, nestled tightly next to his feet.

"He's not bad looking" I commented, Five turned around to glare at me. "What? That should be a compliment, you child" I muttered.

"Do I need to worry about you running off with him?" Five asked and I snorted. I looked back into Five's eyes to see him completely serious. Oh boy.

"No, Five, I am not going to run off with.. You" I rolled my eyes. I ignored the conversation that Luther was having with Five, already knowing Five would probably ignore every comment or suggestion I could make at this point.

I felt Five grabbing my elbow before pulling me to sit down at the table. Luther, little Five, old Five, and I were all awkwardly sitting around a table. I was playing with the straw while Little and Old Five were having a stare down at the table.

"Well.. this is nice isn't it?" Luther spoke up "The four of us together like this" I glanced at Five when I felt his hand squeeze my thigh. He wasn't looking at me, and I came to the conclusion that he was trying to ground himself. What a weird way to do it.

"Nope" The two Fives answered in synch, not even sparing Luther a look. I rolled my eyes and shared a look with Luther. We sat in silence before the Old Five spoke up.

"Somebody explain to me how it is I'm having a pint of Guinness with my younger self" I had a gut feeling something was going to go wrong, and fairly quickly with how hard little Five was beginning to squeeze my thigh.

"Jesus Five" I gasped, he looked over to me and loosened his grip, but not taking his hand off of my leg.

"And who is this?" Old Five gestured towards me.

"Irrelevant" Luther, Five, and I all said in unison. I shared a glance with the two of them, pretty impressed with our timing, and the fact that Luther realized giving up my identity could be dangerous. Old Five would recognize my name.

While the two Fives continued to glare at each other, little Five occasionally squeezing my thigh, I put my hands on the table and stood up. "I am using the ladies room, '' I announced before quickly walking towards the restroom. I was relieved to see it empty, leaning against the sink and splashing some cold water on my face. After killing a few more minutes, I walked back out to find only little Five at the table.

"What happened?" I asked, Five just looked behind me towards the bathroom. I grabbed a napkin, gently dabbing the sweat off of his face. He barely flicked his eyes towards me, continuing to stare at the bathroom. I dropped the napkin and picked up Luther's Guinness and took a large swig.

"I don't trust him" Five blurted out. I furrowed my brows to see him looking at me now.

"But.. he's you?"

"Exactly" Five went back to scratching his neck. I took another swig and sighed, leaning back in my chair. I glanced between Luther and old Five once they made it back to the table. Something didn't feel right as Luther gave us an awkward smile.

"Let's go" We all stood up, the two Fives having a face off, until stage four kicked in and I gagged, quickly walking outside.

I wanted to reach the grassy knoll and get this over as quickly as possible.