Always in my Head [Sashanne]

Chapter 12

⚠️Trigger Warning: Self-Harm, Suicide Attempt, Drugs, Blood⚠️

Marcy's POV

Sasha: Hey Mar-Mar, you awake?

Me: Hey! What's going on?

Sasha: I can't sleep. When I do sleep, I just have nightmares.

Me: I was told not to say anything, but I think you should know.

Me: Anytime we had sleepovers at Anne's after coming home from Amphibia, I think your nightmares have gradually gotten worse.

Sasha: What are you saying?

Me: I'm saying that you have been talking and screaming in your sleep. Anne and I realized it was happening the our first sleepover after I moved.

Sasha: So you and Anne have known about this for years and didn't tell me!

Me: It isn't like that.

Sasha: You know what, I'm done. I can't do this.

Me: What do you mean?

Me: Sasha... Please don't do something you'll regret.

Sasha must angry at Anne and I for not telling her about her sleep terrors. She quit reading and responding to my texts. I remember that Anne and I would end up in Anne's parents' room because of Sasha's screams.

I hope she is okay.

...

Sasha's POV

I am not okay. Was the whole change in our friendship a lie? Clearly, Anne and Marcy have been keeping things from me. Who knows what else they could be keeping under the rug?

I untangled my legs from Anne's without waking her and got out of the bed.

I groaned in frustration. I ripped off Anne's t-shirt, leaving it for her to find when she woke up. I put one of my spare shirts on. I slid my shoes on and left, locking the door on the way out.

My whole relationship had been a lie. All this time, I have been on my own. This must have been what my mom was trying to point out when she told me that she didn't like my friends.

I was driving recklessly on the way back to my place. I was too angry and upset to even remotely care what happened to me.

I slammed my apartment door, causing a picture to fall off the wall. It was the picture of Marcy, Anne, and I at the pier. I tossed my bag on the couch and rummaged through it. I took out my medicine and picked up a piece of the broken glass.

I walked into my bathroom and searched through my medicine cabinet. I pulled out several bottles.

I twisted the caps off of a few of the containers. I started popping pills one after the other. One. Two. Three.... Until most the bottles were empty.

When the vast majority of the medicine bottles were empty, I could not feel anything. Time for the shard of glass. I took my tee off, laying it on the sink counter.

I traced over my scars with my fingers, all of them covered by my tattoos.

This will probably ruin my tattoos, but you know what? Screw it!

I took the broken glass and began cutting on one arm. I started with small cuts, watching the blood trickle into my bathroom floor. I was quick to make bigger, longer cuts. My blood really began to flow.

I stared into the mirror and seen all the tears starting to fall.

It has really come to this, hasn't it? It isn't like anyone actually cared about me. My mom was right about one thing. I was just going to get myself hurt.

I lifted my other arm. Then, I  created multiple scratches at once by dragging the glass across my arm. I must have been digging deep into my arm because blood was spitting across the room.

I was beginning to feel weak in my knees. I searched for pain killers in the cabinet, finding the only bottle left. I stored these in the back of the cabinet forever ago in case of desperate emergencies because they were such a high milligram.

I tossed a handful in my mouth, swallowing hard. I felt a small relief for the time being.

...

Anne's POV

I rolled over, thinking I could cuddle close to Sasha. I quickly realized she was not even in the bed with me.

I forced myself up and investigated my apartment. No sign of her anywhere. I checked out the front window. Her car was gone.

What have you gotten yourself into, Sash?

I ran and grabbed my phone, searching for her contact. It was ringing...

Sasha's POV

I felt my phone vibrating in my pocket. I pulled it out, seeing Anne's name. I shut my phone completely off and chucked it across the apartment. I did not even care if it shattered.

That is something that really sucks about people. They only care when you are about dead.

...

Anne's POV

I paced the floor as Sasha's voicemail played over and over again.

What do I do? What do I do? She wouldn't just leave like that, would she?

My phone suddenly started blowing up.

Marcy: Anne!

Marcy: Have you heard from Sasha?

Marcy: Please pick up!

Oh crud!

Me: Marcy!

Me: I have tried calling Sasha several times.

Me: What is going on??

Marcy: It is a really long story.

Marcy: All you need to know is that Sasha is pissed and upset at the same time.

Me: Did she say anything about where she was going?

Marcy: Wait... Is she not with you?

Me: Nope.

I started looking around the room, seeing if there was anything that could possibly tell me where she went.

I found my t-shirt that she was wearing and noticed her bag was gone.

Me: I think she may have went home.

I dashed out of the apartment, throwing my car in drive.

Sasha, I don't know what going on with you, but please hold out for a little longer.

...

Sasha's POV

I could not feel anything, but the tingling sensation in my hands and the burning from the fresh cuts.

I tried pulling myself up, but kept falling back onto the floor.

I'm pathetic.

I started seeing flashes of black light. I felt my eye lids trying to close. I couldn't take it any longer, everything went black.

Before I was completely passed out, I heard Anne, "SASHA!"

___________________________________

By the way, the image for this chapter is by me!!!

-Whit