Tears of Sorrow (Anakin Skywalker x Reader)

Part 22

         With a heavy heart, I tried to focus on good thoughts and try to enjoy the memories that I made with everyone. But in the end, I just thought about how the Jedi is no longer. Anakin, Obi-Wan, and Padme were all gone. It was my fault; I kept thinking how all of this could have been prevented; Obi-wan would still have his friend, and Padme would have a father for her children; but all of this was my doing.

         Now, Anakin is Darth Vader and not a father. I could tell from the eye contact that he wanted to see his children, and I ruined that as well. Force, why me? Why am I the Destroyer of the Jedi? Of course I didn't want to show my emotions because Vader would not be satisfied, especially with my high expectations because of my destiny.

          Lord Sidious arrived and motioned for us to come inside the ship to return to Coruscant. I let my head hang while I looked at the floor, still thinking about what I had done and that Vader would kill me at anytime. Suddenly, I started to feel stinging in my eyes. Hot tears flowed down my face like lava from Mustafar. I tried to hide my tears, fortunately; I was alone, but I just needed someone to calm me down. Again, my mind started racing.

          Flashbacks from when times were so much simpler Meeting Anakin for the first time came to mind. I tried to focus on that moment: I slowly walked up behind Anakin and screamed boo. He stumbles and falls. I held my stomach and giggled. "That wasn't funny." He playfully glares. "Well, it was to me." I held out my hand. He pushed my hand aside and said playfully, "I don't need help getting up." "Alright, fine, but it's your loss." I giggled more. "No, it isn't. I think you just wanted to hold my hand." He grins. "Oh, I guess you caught me, Skywalker." She gave him a cheeky smile.

           To the moment we had our first argument: "(Y/n), there was a reason I had to scream your  name." remembering what he said about crossing the line: "It looked like you were going to cross a line, which I will never allow you to do." I hugged my knees, apologizing for every wrongdoing to everyone I truly cared about.

            At the wrong moment, Vader stormed in to inform me that soon we would be landing. He noticed that I was crying and could hear my thoughts loud and clear. He knelt down and, of course, doesn't bother to say anything and just gazes into my eyes, thinking about the times that I held on too. Through the bond, all I hear is that the past is irrelevant to us. Now focus on the Empire, or I will report to Lord Sidious that you have gone weak and are dwelling on past attachments that you had.

             I was enraged at what I just heard and told him to leave me alone. Vader left without hesitation, knowing he had touched my nerves. I ended up crying until we landed, and I immediately asked Lord Sidious if I could retire. He nodded and wanted to know where I would be staying. I replied with an apartment. Vader shot me with a weird look, but I looked down to dodge it.

             The weather on Coruscant wasn't pretty anymore. It was raining, and the lightning struck and cracked. Nothing was the same and won't ever be the same. I took a stroll alone and enjoyed what was left of Coruscant and compared it to how it looks now. The Jedi temple fire was blown out, but what remains is a dark hole where the fire was exposed.

              There was a ship near me. I approached it with caution to make sure there was none. It was all clear that I took the ship and flew toward Padme's apartment. Someone's ship was already there, and I landed the ship next to the apartment. Quickly, I jumped out to see who else was here.

              My lightsaber was ready, but then I heard Vader crying and ran to Padme's room. There he was, on his knees on the floor, crying, which I figured was him trying to cope with her death. I entered the room and looked around, giving me more flashbacks. There was that silence again. His brows furrowed as his mouth turned grim when he felt my presence there and said, "Leave now." His voice bristled through my ears.

                Thinking to himself, he needed some closure and thought about the burial on Naboo. I crouched to his level, trying to sound as caring as possible: "Anak-vader, I sent Padme for a paper burial if you want to see her for some closure. It's just an offer." He forced me against the wall, and his voice boomed, "Do not call me Anakin. You are pathetic." The annoyance and the agonizing pain from being forcefully pushed flowed through my body, and it gave me a chance to defend myself.

                  Shouting from the top of my lungs, my voice started to crack, "You are the pathetic life form. I am trying to help with the mistake I made." I slowly stood up, trying to read his emotion. The presence of grief was present. I gritted my teeth in anger, knowing he was trying to hide his emotions, and stormed towards him. The next thing I shouted was about our past, but from a safe distance: "You tossed us away like we were nothing. You moved on, and you were having children while I was suffering. Anakin. I was suffering." I was going to expose Lord Sidious for what he has done.

                    Vader got more upset that I called him Anakin, but that's who he really was. His eyes were blue, Anakin's eye color. I sat right in front of him while he was facing my way, and I revealed my scars. I told him everything that Sidious did to me.

                    Tears in my eyes welled up and began rolling down my cheeks in rivulets as I started speaking: "I know I have told you that he kidnapped me on the day of our mission. He electrocuted me until I was too weak to fight back. I was gone all these years because of him. The day I ran from you, I was given orders by him to leave this planet and come back when I felt a disturbance in the force. But I never thought it would be you. He was trying to turn to the dark side. I knew I could have prevented this."

                     From what he heard, he sat in silence, without words. I felt conflict in him; he wanted to believe me but, yet again, he couldn't because Sidious in the past was his father figure.