Tears of Sorrow (Anakin Skywalker x Reader)

Part 27

          In the aftermath of my betrayal, I told Obi-Wan to find somewhere far from the empire's reach. Which made him sad a bit then turned to frustration. He softly said, "I lost who I was because of your actions, but I tried to understand what made you turn. I'm apologizing on behalf of Master Windu." Hearing those words coming from Obi-Wan saddens me. The apology I received was not deserved because I had been held responsible for Obi-Wan's loss.

         I turned away from him and sighed replying, "You do not deserve an apology from me, nor do I need you to apologize for the actions of someone else. You should not understand me because I murdered countless innocent people, including Padme. Although I had a good reason for killing her, it does not justify the fact that I am misunderstood."

        Sitting with the response that I gave him, he started thinking and started putting the pieces together. "You love Anakin. Love drove you to the dark side. You cared about Anakin so much that you were willing to do everything for him. Then you saw him with Padme and realized your sacrifices were for nothing."

       The pain in my heart was unbearable. The thought that someone had witnessed how deeply I fell for only one person made me feel vulnerable. He explained to me how he knew about my feelings for Anakin and how jealousy came over me when I saw Padme in Anakin's presence.He could read me well enough, and it's simply because Anakin felt the same about me.After telling him that things had changed, I explained what had happened. Anakin and I grew distant for understandable reasons.

     The only reaction from him was a sigh. That was the outcome of the decision I made against Anakin. Obi-wan explained to me that the only reason there's strain in my relationship with Anakin is because I'm conflicted and haven't fully submerged myself in the philosophy of the dark side. I kept jumping back and forth and without even noticing that I tend to fight the dark side. I sat on my bed in a deep state of mind. Then quickly shook Obi-Wan's idea from my mind.

     Seeing it now, Obi-Wan had no clue who I was and I fear that what he's saying is just feeding his delusions. So I hugged him tightly and told him that I thought of him as my father figure, but that I was no longer that happy, inquisitive youngling. His eyes swelled up with tears. He entered a state of denial. This once-loving, kind, and loyal man has become a relic of the past. For him, my heart was breaking. He had done nothing to deserve this. Nothing.

     Unfortunately, I knew I had to force him out before Sidious realized he'd been fooled. I let him sleep in my quarters while I gazed out on the balcony at the Jedi Temple. I recall how I used to be. But it's all just a memory now. When I returned to my quarters, I just sat and watched him sleep peacefully, wondering if he had ever gotten any sleep after the traumatic events played out.

     When there was a knock at the door, I began to panic and asked who it was. It was Anakin. I slowly awakened Obi-Wan and told him to hide somewhere before opening the door. Anakin appeared passive and aggressive when I opened the door. He was direct and to the point " How could you? Using someone we both care about to gain Sidious' respect." I shook my head, "We both knew what had to be done since he was a Jedi. Aside from the fact that I did him a favor, do you want him to see just how terrible we are?"

     Anakin's face was blank, and his voice was stern, "Y/n, you're the one who's terrible." The rage that welled up within me, prompting me to remind him that he had murdered children. Younglings who had bright futures ahead of them. Anakin clenched his fists and shifted his gaze to the floor. I could feel the tension between us even though the room was silent. This caused me to sit down and place my hands on my head. I was sick of constantly arguing with Anakin. With that said I voiced my feelings.

    By his response, I realized this would never have been something to begin with. "I know. I'm tired of arguing as well, but it'll be over soon." After the last part, my stomach dropped, and I asked why. He sighed and stated that Sidious was completely violating the Rule of Two, implying that only one apprentice could exist. I shook my head no, feeling like I was about to vomit. Anakin sensed my sudden panic and rushed to my side, attempting to comfort me.

   He placed my head on his lap, but all I could think about was how my breath was intense and rapid and how I was on the verge of hyperventilating. Anakin attempted to guide me through this. "Breathe, Y/N. You're doing great. Breathe in, then exhale. I'm here. You're not alone." I breathed in and out, in and out, in and out, looking into his eyes. Until my breathing returned to normal. "You did it, you see. I'm very proud of you." He gave a soft smile.

   For the first time in a long time, I was able to smile. I felt happiness fill my body, and I suddenly felt like that little girl who first met him in the Jedi Temple. But then I remembered Obi-Wan was still hiding, so I jumped up and reassured Anakin that I was fine and that he, too, should get some rest. He was hesitant at first, but he eventually gave in and kissed my cheek before walking out of my quarters.

    I closed the door almost immediately and went in search of Obi-Wan, who I eventually found. Bringing him to my bed to rest. When he smiled, I knew he had been paying attention the entire time. So I told him to go to bed. Nevertheless, I was happy to see him smile.