𝑫𝑰𝑨𝑴𝑶𝑵𝑫// 𝑪𝑶𝑵𝑹𝑨𝑫 𝑭𝑰𝑺𝑯𝑬𝑹¹

𝘌𝘭𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘯

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I open the door after sitting on the porch for 20 minutes, thinking about everything. I walk in, trying to be as quiet as possible in case anyone is asleep on the couch. I walk into the kitchen, sit at the counter, and put my head into my hands while my elbows lean into the countertop.

"How was your hot date?" Conrad asks while walking into the kitchen "Excuse me?" I say rudely turning to look at him

"Okay, relax. we were having a little fun," He says looking at me defensively "You're an asshole," I say with anger lacing my voice "Tate, come on." He says looking me in the eyes as a way of telling me to get over it

"All I wanted was to go to the drive-in with a guy I think is- is cute and sweet, and you had to come and ruin it," I say with my voice rising "And us showing up, for, like, two minutes ruined that, really?" He says rolling his eyes and walking more into the kitchen

"He thinks you're still in love with me," I say without hesitation causing him to let out a laugh "What?" He says "He told me that we couldn't date because you were still in love with me," I say a little more clearly to make sure he actually heard me

"That's ridiculous," He says before taking a sip out of his drink "You knew exactly what you were doing," I say annoyed at how stupid he is acting "What? What was I doing?" He looks at me narrowing his eyes and pushes his head forward a little bit

"Reminding me that you existed," I say rolling my eyes "I don't know what you're talking about," He says looking down "Oh stop with your bullshit," I say standing up

"You don't want to be with me, but you also don't want me to be with anyone else. You flirt with me and then you go and hook up with Nicole, who by the way you didn't even tell we dated, which I think is information you should have mentioned." I say taking a breath as he just looks at me "We broke up two years ago before the other day we also hadn't talked in two years, I'm allowed to talk to whomever I want and so are you. I wouldn't crash your date just so you know that you'll truly never lose feelings for me, because that's exactly how you made me feel."

"Conrad, you were my first love, my first everything. There will always be a part of me that will be attached to you, I will always see you in other guys, and I will always think about you in the back of my head. I know you feel the same or else you would have left me alone," I say stepping closer to him as he keeps eye contact "If you want to just be friends, great, that's fine. but you can't keep stringing me along even though you have a girlfriend. You can't watch movies with me or spend the whole day with me because it fucks with my head."

"You are ruining any chances I have of moving on to the best of my ability. I just want you to let me go or at least tell me how you feel so we can work around this. You can't ruin any more of my dates," I say but he cuts me off "You think you're going on more dates?" He says narrowing his eyes and stepping even closer

"Would you just stop that," I say angrily "Stop what?" He says tilting his head "Making me think you want more," I say while putting my head down and lowering my voice

"Tate, do you even realize how hard it is to see you every day? How hard it is to act like everything in my life is perfectly fine? I want nothing more than to just tell everyone how I feel, I want to tell you how I feel. I just don't want to mess everything up." He says while grabbing my chin and lifting my head to make eye contact with me "I still have feelings for you, yes. I also have feelings for Nicole. I know you heard our conversation the other day, Belly told me and I feel bad, she also told me you didn't wait to hear what I had to say, so I'm gonna tell you exactly what I told her,"

"Yes, I still love you, is that what you want to hear? I will always love you no matter who I meet or date. That doesn't mean I can't fall in love with anyone else, because I know I will. I just don't want to. I like Nicole, but she will never be you. I know that she wants more than what I have to offer," He says stopping himself from what he's about to say next "I want to be with Nicole, but she's gonna have to learn to live with the fact that no matter what you will be my first everything and that means something,"

I just stare at him, I don't know what to say, so I don't say anything. I walk away. I walk into my bedroom grab some clothes and then go into the bathroom, turn on the shower take off my clothes, and step in. I just want to stop feeling and I don't know why.

It's not like I expected him to say that he told Nicole he didn't want to be with her because I mean who wouldn't she's gorgeous. I just hate the fact that he said he still loves me and doesn't want to love anyone else but still wants to be with her. Who says that kind of thing? why does Nicole even still want to be with him if he loves someone else?

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Weasleyspie speaks!

I don't know how I feel about this, so I might change a few things after I'm not half-asleep writing this. If you have any recommendations about what I should have done differently please feel free to tell me I'm open to anything to make this story more enjoyable for you.