My Shining Armor. (Salvis)

Three

Travis

Sundays, suck ass. Who would want to go to church, every Sunday? Dumbest shit ever. I believe in God, and I believe there are sins, but I don't like going to church all the time. I especially hate wearing suits. The only time it's fun, is when he's there. Sometimes Sal and Larry go to annoy the fuck out of him, which usually works since 90% of the time when he starts talking Larry farts and it's loud as fuck. Or sal throws something at him. They usually get banned for a month or two then come back right after. About a month ago they came in dressed as old lady's then Larry tripped and he went to help Larry but then Larry started twerking and Sal burst out laughing. I fucking love his laugh. His voice is so deep and calming but his laugh is pretty high pitched but it's so cute. I love everything about Sal Fisher. I can't deny it.

Sal

"Get up ball sucker! We're technically unbanned from the church." I jumped on Larry's bed and he grumbled in his sleep. "WAKE UP DICKHEAD!!!!" I then dug my foot in his face. "JESUS GET YOUR NASTY FUCKING FOOT AWAY FROM ME IT PROBABLY HAS DISEASES!!!!" I chuckled and Larry got up. "Anyways... Did you say we're unbanned???" Larry grinned and I nodded. "Yes sir! What should we do this time?" Larry shrugged. Since we technically can't go to jail for not doing any harm we can always go back when unbanned from going. "Doesn't Lisa have one of those horse suit things..." I looked at Larry and he grinned from ear to ear. "Fuck yes."

"Larry why the fuck do I have to be the ass?! I literally have to be up against your ass!!!!" Larry chuckled. "Must suck little dude!" I grumbled as we pulled up to the church. Ash drove us since no one trusts Larry or me with driving. "I'll wait here for you idiots to get kicked out." Ash giggled as we got out of the car. "Bye Ash!!!" We waved and walked in the church.

Travis
(Old Town road here↓)
He was talking on and on but I sort of zoned out. That's when I heard the doors to the church open and close. Which was odd since no one got up, and everyone is here?... Oh. That's when Old Town Road started playing.. Everyone froze and turned around. Then came one of those stupid two piece horse outfits. They looked so dumb. I chuckled and watched them trot down the middle. Then there was a loud fart.

Sal

"LARRY YOU FUCKING NASTY PIG WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU EAT?!?!" I quickly pulled away from Larry's fucking ASS. "Oops." I slithered out of the horse suit and kicked him in the leg. "OOPS?!? YOU SHIT ON ME!!!" Larry stood up which looked dumb, then took the outfit off. "I DID NOT!!! I JUST FARTED?!" Kenneth quickly walked over to us and he looked pissed. I pointed behind Larry. "Huh?" Larry turned and literally jumped, followed with a high pitch scream. "Jesus dude that was a fucking jumpscare!!!" Larry stared at him and I chuckled. "Get. Out." Larry shrugged. "Yes boss man. Though, how do I leave?" Larry spinned around and looked back at me. "I see no exit." I started laughing. "Man, me neither. Guess we're stuck here." I shrugged. Kenneth looked like he was about to blow up. "Travis, show these two, idiots, the exit please." I looked at Larry and stopped laughing. "Uh- Sir, nevermind.." I looked at Kenneth and he glared at me. "Too. Bad." Travis stood up and walked towards us. "Thanks, son." Kenneth looked at Travis and smiled. Travis flinched a bit, then slightly smiled. "No problem.. F-Father.." Travis started walking and me and Larry silently followed behind him. Once Travis escorted us out he looked like he wanted to say something. Larry looked at me awkwardly. "Guess we're banned again, huh?" I chuckled. "Guess so." Larry shrugged. Travis looked at me and we stared at each other for a moment. Travis shrugged and turned around then walked towards the door. That's when I swore I saw him do the hand sign for help.