Kissing the fire

Kabanata 34

Wildfire

"Ate–" I was taken aback when I saw kuya Gerovick and...Zone.

Kuya Gerovick is sitting beside ate riri while holding her hand and Zone is standing in front of ate's hospital bed.

"W-why..." I trailed off...

Dad shouldn't see them.

"Don't worry, era. Kaka-alis lang ni dad,sinamahan pa siya ni Reno pauwi. I told him that you'll be with me today," Ate smiled, reassuring me that it's okay.

I'll understand that Kuya Gerovick is here but why would zone be here? I guess accompanying his older brother wouldn't be so bad.

I took a quick glance at zone before I went closer to my sister. Kuya Gerovick and Zone went out so my sister and I could have some moment.

"Ate..." I was teary-eyed when I gave her a big hug. Remembering why she's here in the hospital gave me a thought of her absence. I can't imagine that she's–...the thought of it makes myself wanna disappear too. I can't live without my siblings.

"Don't worry about me, era," I frowned when she said that. I'm her sister! Ofcourse, I will always worry!

"Ate, hindi lang yan sakit! You have a stage 4 lung cancer!" I stood up because of frustration. I walked back and forth and messed my hair a bit. I looked at her and she's still smiling as if she's in the acceptance stage already. As if she's...prepared for this, "stage 4 lung cancer!" I repeated what I said so maybe it'll sink in her head that it's not a joke.

"I know, era,"

"How long did you know about your...cancer? Ba't ngayon mo lang sinabi sa amin ni kuya?"

"I've been contemplating to tell all of you about this for awhile. That's why I decided to go home but then Tito Louie happened," she brushed her hair before she leaned her back against the headboard.

"So you knew about this noong nasa Australia ka pa?" I can't believe this! Bakit niya pa pinatagal?

"A month after I arrived in Australia, that's when I knew I had this cancer but when I checked, it was still stage 1 so I thought I'll get better soon if I just live my life there being healthy but nagpacheck-up ulit ako and that's when I knew it progressed to stage 4,"

My sister is the most kindest woman I know. She's soft spoken, caring and a loving daughter and sibling. She doesn't deserve any of this madness. If someone here in this room deserves it, then I will be the one to step up.

I took out my cigarette pack, pulled one and started to smoke it when someone stole it away from my mouth...

"I didn't know you smoke..." He then smoked my cigar.

"I guess you don't know a lot of things about me," I said and leaned my back against the cold wall outside of the hospital. When he blew a large smoke, that's when I got the cigar away from his mouth and stepped on it, "You shouldn't be the one who smokes. Med student ka pa naman," I said and rolled my eyes. He tightened his jaw. I didn't know getting him angry like this makes me miss him so much.

His eyes was dark while piercing through me and I know I am longing for those eyes. Those eyes that wants only me.

I've done him wrong so many times and I felt so little in front of him. I was bare yet he was there to provide me warmth when I needed someone the most.

"Zone, I'm sorry–"

"You said no feelings attached right?"

"H-huh?"

"Just sex. You and I. No feelings attached..." He went closer near me until I can smell his favorite manly perfume, our lips only inches apart and his breath spreading through my neck like wildfire, "You want this, right?" He whispered to my ears and I can feel his lips brushed against my ear.

"Z-zone...I....uhm..." I have never stuttered like this before! This is wrong...to be close to him like this...

For goddamn sake! He has someone now.

I pushed him a little but I guess that didn't work because he's still in the same position looking through my eyes.

"Look at me, sierra," I bit my lips and didn't follow what he said but he guided my chin towards his face.

"This is wrong...you have nathalie now..." I whispered.

"And you have Rafael..." He thinks Rafael is my boyfriend. Telling him the truth won't matter now. Either way, we still got in this position.

"I want you, zone," my words were like a lighter. I know this is wrong and I am a very impulsive person. I don't know what to do anymore since he's like a drug spreading through my system like wildfire.

We became fuck buddies again and I know it's not the same anymore because now, it's clear between the two of us that...our fucked up relationship is involved with no feelings.

He liked me.

Ngayon alam ko na kung hanggang saan lang niya ako gusto.