Kissing the fire

Kabanata 45

Sunday

I caressed my knees and bit my lips as I look at them.

I hate noise but this is much louder. Walang ni-isa sa amin ang nag-sasalita at nakakainis. Zone already introduced himself and tried to spark a conversation with my aunt but she wouldn't even budge.

We've been sitting here for so long and Tante Helga is just quiet while staring at him.

"Tante..." I spoke because Zone seemed uncomfortable as Tante's staring at him for a long time. It seems she's scrutinizing every bit of him.

"I'm sorry for Helga, Arzt Vergara. She's–"

"Ruhig, Emil Wagner Bauer!" We were stunned as she slammed a magazine against the table. My Onkel Wagner, who was sitting beside tante Helga zipped his mouth with his hand and sat properly. I stifled my chuckle as I knew he's in trouble because tante spoke his fullname. That means she's angry.

"Tante, what's the problem?" She glanced at me and flashed me her warning look.

"Spreche deutsch, Sierra Lianne,"

"Warum?" I asked her 'why' since
Tante's not like this. In this house, we always speak English and Deutsch. And now she wants me to speak Deutsch entirely when Zone's in front of us?

"Oma! Oma!" We saw Ria holding her doll while running downstairs and behind her was Rex who's looking at us with a furrowed brows.

"Geh noch nicht runter! Sei nicht stur, Ria, sonst kommst du nirgendwo hin,"

Ria immediately frowned upon hearing from her grandmother that they can't go down yet or else she won't go anywhere. I smiled at them as they went upstairs. Tante Helga sighed as we heard big footsteps above as we assumed ria's mad at us.

"Sierra, ich werde nicht mit ihm sprechen, wenn er nicht Deutsch mit mir sprechen kann,"

"Tante..." So that's why she don't want to speak with him because she wants zone to speak to her using our language. I understand that she's strict now but it's unnecessary.

"Zone, I am sorry for my aunt Helga. She says she don't wanna talk to you unless you speak to her in Deutsch," He nodded.

"I heard,"

"You do know how to speak Deutsch, right?"

"Just a little," he can so he'll be okay.

"Frau Helga, ich verstehe, dass Sie mir noch nicht vertrauen, weil Sie mich zum ersten Mal gesehen haben und ich Ihre Gefühle verstehe," We were looking at him after he said all of that. He doesn't seem the type to be fluent at Deutsch but I guess he's been studying well. He understands that my aunt does not trust him yet because this is indeed the first time that she saw him. But Tante knows about him because I told her so but she didn't saw his face.

Onkel and I just observed their conversations in Deutsch. I realized he speaks fluently than me. In the end, zone left his ID in the Helios hospital and M.D. license just so Tante could approve of us leaving the house with the kids.

"Take good care, Sierra." I nodded.

"Danke, tante. But please, don't be too hard on him next time, ja?" I hugged her before going inside the car.

I tried to run after Ria happily ran inside into the amusement park when Rex stopped me with his left hand.

"I'm on it, mutter," he said. He glanced at his father before following his sister.

"I'm sorry. Ria's such a handful," I said as we proceeded on walking. There are so many extreme rides but there are also rides for kids below 7 years old just like the carousel ride that Ria went.

"It's okay. It seems that Rex looks after her sister all the time,"

"I told them that they have to take care of each other but Ria doesn't seem to understand what I said,"

"She cares..." I glanced at him as he fixed the bridge of his glasses. He doesn't wear those before. 

"Huh?" I furrowed my brows.

"She just acts like she doesn't care but I know she cares for her brother just like someone I know,"

I scoffed when he glanced at me and I immediately looked away.

"I think they wanna ride the carousel," I said and walked to my kids as they were waving at us.

We watched them as they rode the horses. Ria rode on the pink horse while Rex rode at the brown one behind Ria's horse. Happiness was evident at Ria's face and she waving at us while Rex's face was stoic as he was looking around, probably observing his surroundings. I can't fathom whether he's happy right now or not.

"Are you and our kids like this every sunday?" I blinked several times. I know it's our kids and he already said it several times but I just can't believe what I am hearing. It's just new that I have someone to talk to when my kids and I play every weekends. I guess this is a different kind of sunday.

"Uh..y-yes," I gulped. Shit, why am I stuttering? Baka isipin niyang nahihiya ako! I cleared my throat, "We are often busy during weekdays so I make sure that we have time during weekends,"

"Are you...a medrep since you moved here?"

I nodded.

"Tante was a medrep at PCG but when I came, she resigned and built her own business so I was the one who filled her position back then,"

I bit my lips as I remembered what we have said before. I miss my friends. I miss Corynn and Byron. Probably, they're successful CPAs right now. I aspired to be a Certified Public Accountant but I guess life has better plans for me.

"You didn't...continued studying here?"

I sighed.

"I have two kids to look after and take care of, Zone. How am I supposed to just live my life before when I am a mother to the two amazing kids right now?"

As a child born with a golden spoon, life here with my kids wasn't easy. Especially, that I was a single mother. I had many mistakes but those mistakes taught me to become better and stronger...for my Ria and Rex.

"If you told me about them I could have helped you, Sierra. They are our kids. They are also my kids. I have the responsibility,"

"I don't want to share the burden with you, zone,"

"Burden?" He scoffed, "I was willing to carry all your burdens, sierra. If I had the opportunity to be hurt instead of you back then, then I would gladly take the opportunity!"

"I lost my family, Zone. How can I think of you when I lost them? Ate died because of cancer, kuya died in a tragic accident and...and...my parents..." I wiped a single tear that fell from my eyes. It hurts me everytime I remember them, "My parents were murdered and I didn't even do a single thing to help them. Did you know what I did? I just ran away! I am a horrible daughter, zone!"

I felt his arms wrap around me and my head rested on his shoulders.

"Sierra..." I cried when I heard him say my name. I missed him. I missed him so much, "You're not a horrible daughter. You did your best to survive and it's not your fault..."

"I want j-justice for what happened to my parents, zone but I just can't go back to the Philippines. W-what if something happens to me there? What about my k-kids? I'm afraid, they are still looking for me..." I closed my eyes as he caressed my hair.

His hot breath lingered on my neck as he whispered those words.

"Justice is already served, sierra..."