Kissing the fire

Kabanata 42

Let go

I thought my world has already crumbled into pieces a long time ago. I never thought it was still complete because I had a family by my side.

Breakups hurt.

Parting with a friend can even cause you pain.

But losing a loved one, especially your family, can never describe the feeling of agony in your life.

It's the one that I could never recover.

After a week since my brother died, sumunod naman si ate. I never talked to anyone and never got out of my room even on their burial. I counted the days until I lost track of time.

"Eat, sierra lianne..." I covered my face with a pillow when mommy got inside my room with a tray, "You need to eat for your baby,"

I sighed. My stomach's getting bigger now and dad already knows about this. He didn't even knew how to react because of the events that happened to us.

In the end, I sat on my bed and faced my window so mom won't see my face.

"I thought you hated me. Why do you care for me now? It's because of the baby, huh?" I caressed my stomach as it's the one that's keeping me sane right now.

I heard she sighed.

"I know our lives stopped when they died..." I clenched my jaw as I heard her voice cracked, "But the world would still continue to revolve even without them," I looked up when mom sobbed, "and that's the worst because they're... they're gone...and t-the w-world still spins without my children,"

I gulped when a tear escaped my eyes.

I finally let go of my tears when I heard my door was finally closed. I continued sobbing while I held my heart because it was too much for me to take. I then faced my pillow and screamed at the top of my lungs.

"Merry Christmas, ate and kuya..." I caressed the picture of us three. It was taken on the graduation day of kuya.

"Sierra lianne," nilapag ko ang picture frame sa lamesa nang tawagin ako ni mommy, "It would not hurt to help us here a bit, hmm? Just don't carry heavy baggages,"

I nodded and proceeded to our living room. Dad was putting tape around a box and mom is putting something inside a bag.

"Sierra, here's the keys," sinalo ko naman ang binigay na susi ni dad, "Open the back of the car door for me,"

Ngayon na ang alis namin papuntang Cebu. If we stay here for too long ay baka kung ano nang gawin sa amin ng mga Bedonia's. Imbes na nag-hahanda kami sa ganitong okasyon ay nag-hahanda kami ng mga gamit para sa aming pag-alis.

Our house was getting smaller and smaller as Dad drove away from our home.

I don't know when we will ever come back. I caressed my tummy as I know I get hope from my unborn child. We will be okay.

"We need to hide right now because mainit pa ang ulo ng mga Bedonia sa atin but we'll come back once I secure a buyer for our house," I widened my eyes at what she said.

"You'll sell the house?" That cannot happen! My siblings and I grew up there, there's no way my parents can sell the house.

"We are really broke now, sierra and I can't get back my company because the Monteclaro's already has full authority on all my assets. The BOD fired me. They fired me on my own company, they will regret this. I am sure they will," I gulped and held my tears back. I should have just married Rafael when I had a chance to. Hindi sana kami aabot sa ganitong sitwasyon ngayon.

"It's all my fault," saad ni daddy habang nagda-drive, "I knew that the Bedonia's are a Mafia clan but still I took a risk and see what it got me? What it got us?" Dad shook his head as mommy caressed his hands, "I was so impulsive that it pushed me to the very rock bottom at nadamay ko pa kayo. I am very sorry Estrella at lalo na sa'yo, Sierra,"

"Dad naman..." My eyes were blurry as we were getting emotional.

"I was never a good father to you..." I saw a tear escaped dad's eyes, "I am very sorry, anak. I failed as a father. I should be the one protecting you but I was the one who pushed you to touch the thorns. I know you're blaming yourself because of what happened to us but really you chose the right decision to not marry Rafael because you're not happy and you don't love him,"

"Dad, it's all in the past. What's important right now is what we will do in the future,"

"It's really a long time but I think it's finally happening that we need to accept the Vergaras now that you'll be having a baby with Zone. Kahit para sa apo na lang namin ay magiging maayos kami," Mommy caressed dad's shoulders at bahagyang sumandal sa balikat niya. I sobbed when I heard him say that.

"Dad-" I held my head as mommy screamed when a bullet pierced through our window.

"Putangina! Ang mga tauhan ni Viktor!"

"Paano tayo natunton ng mga Bedonia?!" Mommy yelled as another bullet pierced on the window near dad. My heart was throbbing so fast as I saw another man getting ready for another shoot.

"Sierra!" Mommy yelled as she handed me her phone, "I already contacted your Aunt Helga at Germany beforehand incase anything happens to us right now. just dial the number 1 and she'll tell you what to do," My breath hitch and my eyebrows furrowed.

I held unto my tummy as we heard our tires screeched. I closed my eyes as mommy suddenly embraced me awaiting for a large impact. Mabilis ang mga pangyayari at kahit malabo ang mga mata ay naaninag ko pa rin ang mga ngiti ni mommy estrella.

"Sierra..." I blinked my eyes several times until it was clear enough to see her forehead bleeding.

"Mom-" she quickly put her index finger at my lips.

"Run now, sierra. There's no time," she said, "We'll gonna be okay..." She held my hands and I bit my lips to stop myself from crying.

"Haharapin ko na sila," Dad said and smiled at us before he got out.

"Samson!" Sigaw ni mommy bago humarap sa akin, "Umalis ka na, sierra! Go to the airport right now. Malapit na lang yun dito....please...save your baby..."

I shook my head as my tears started to fall.

"How about you and dad?" My lips were quivering. I can't just leave them behind.

"Susunod kami, okay?" I tightened my grip on my mom's hand, "You need to let go, sierra. Letting go is probably the best decision that you'll make right now," she started to push me so that I can finally get out.

"Mommy..." I sobbed, "T-thank you for being the best mom ever," I said as I embraced her. I never got the chance to hug her like this because ever since I was little, she acted cold and never showed compassion to me but right now, I realized that was a facade to hide all the love she has for me, "I love you, mommy,"

"Run as fast as you can," Ginilid niya ang kanyang ulo para hindi makatingin sa akin.

"Nasaan na kayong mga siraulo? Magpa-kita na-" I shrieked when Dad got shot on his shoulders.

"Dad!" Mommy pulled me when I was about to go to my dad.

"Takbo na, sierra!" My breath hitched when I saw a group of men walking towards us, "Takbo!"

I glanced at mommy before I ran on the cold pavement while grasping on my stomach. I held my mouth as I heard multiple shots at my back.

Mommy told me to let go and she thought running is the way for me to let go. She didn't even knew that I would not ever learn the art of letting go...

With shaky hands, pinara ko ang unang sasakyan na nakakita sa akin...

"Please, paandarin niyo na lang po ang sasakyan ng mabilis..." Nag-tataka akong tiningnan ng lalaki at ng babaeng katabi niya pero wala na akong pakialam basta makalayo na lang ako sa lugar na 'to.

"Sa airport ang punta namin, ate. Saan ka ba? Ihahatid ka na lang namin," sabi ng babae at muling ngumiti sa akin.