Kissing the fire

Kabanata 46

Abandon

"What do you mean?" Bumitiw ako sa kanyang yakap at imbes na sagutin ay nginitian niya lamang ako, "Justice...is served. How?"

"It's a long story, sierra. Before the Bedonia's, I had a long list of names to punish..."

"Wait...stop..." I furrowed my brows, "I don't want to assume but...you...y-you punished them for me?"

I saw his adam's apple move before he averted his gaze and crossed his arms.

He widened his eyes as I suddenly held his shoulders.

"I am willing to hear the long story, zone ashton."

I looked at the back and saw my children already sleeping, tired from all they did at the amusement park. Their positions formed a smile on my face. Ria's resting her head on Rex' shoulders while my son rested his head on the window.

I was preparing to walk out when zone stopped in front of the house and immediately went out of his car to gently carry Ria on his shoulders.

"Rex, we're home," My son woke up when Zone carried Ria. He held Ria's backpack and followed his father inside.

"Zone went inside their room," I nodded at Tante and gave me the IDs the he left earlier.

Zone was caressing Ria's hair and now, I just confirmed what my daughter has said when she first met her father. Kamukhang-kamukha niya nga ang tatay niya, walang duda. I looked down when I saw my son beside me.

"I thought you're sleepy, already?" They have the same room with two beds inside. Ria's on the left and his bed is on the right side. Zone sat on Rex's bed when he noticed us. He glanced at me and waved at Rex.

"Rex, hi," Zone smiled but Rex did not respond.

"Mutter," I squatted so I can understand what he is about to say.

"Ja, schnukiputzi?" I asked and caressed his hair when I noticed concern was etched on his face.

"Warum...hat vater uns verlassen und ist erst jetzt aufgetaucht?" I widened my eyes and pulled him gently away from their room so Zone couldn't hear us.

"Rex...your father didn't abandon you, us..." What have I done? This is all my fault of why he thinks that way. He asked why did zone abandoned us and only appeared now. He thinks his father's the bad guy when in reality, it's me. I was selfish. I deprived them of their father's love.

"Mutter, it's been 7 years without him. Abandoned or not, it's clear that he didn't find us or you. He only appeared now that we're 7 years old. We don't need him, we only need you, mutter," I tried to get hold of his hands when he stepped back and walked downstairs.

I sighed.

Now, my son's disappointed at me.

I was the one who abandoned Zone. I left him in the Philippines and started my life here in Germany for good. Now, Rex is blaming his father when Zone didn't know he already has children with me. I was the one to blame. 

"I'll be back tomorrow," I looked at my back and saw his eyes. I know he heard it.

"Zone, I'm sorry–"

"I should get going. It's hard to drive when it's dark," he said and proceeded walking downstairs.