Therapy Session [Completed]

A Little Comfort

"Do you know about the Rorschach test?"

I look over at Miss Arianna as she was sitting across from me. I had spread out on the chair with my legs hanging off the side.

"I've done it before."

"What do you think about it?"

I shrug. "Neither like or hate it. I just don't understand it."

She smiles at me before getting up and walking to her desk. She came back with a folder and sat down across from me before opening it.

"It's a psychological test." She smiles. "It's to examine a person's personality characteristics and emotional functioning."

Nodding, I watch as she grabs a paper and turns it around towards me. "What do you see?"

Looking at the paper, it was just ink splattered on paper. I couldn't see anything so I wasn't sure what she wanted me to say it was.

"It looks like.. someone threw ink on the paper and made a mess."

She slightly chuckles before nodding and turning the paper towards her. "That's somewhat true but.. look a little closer."

She turns the paper back around and I try to focus on what was there. I squinted my eyes and stared, trying to figure it out.

"It looks like a bat."

I saw her smile at that answer. "Good."

"Was I right?"

"There's not a right or wrong answer. But you did good."

She went through more papers and I tried my best to focus on what it was or what I saw.

We did that for a while before she put the folder up and made her way back to the chair.

"That was very good, Morgan. Now I want to talk about some things." I nod as she placed the pad of paper in her lap and looked at me. "How are you feeling today?"

"You already asked that when I first got here."

She smiles. "I'm asking again."

"I'm fine." I shrug.

"Any negative thoughts? For the last few days?"

Thinking about it, my hand pulled my left sleeve down a little more before stretching my arms up in the air.

"None that I can remember."

When I look over at her, she was staring at me before her eyes traveled downward and I knew what she was looking at.

"I may have had a few thoughts the last few days."

"Why is that?"

I shrug before crossing my arms. "Just.. a lot of shit is going on in my life and I don't know."

"What's going on in your life to have these thoughts?"

I leaned my head back and sighed. "My stupid mind and my stupid life."

"Tell me, Morgan. I'm listening."

Looking over at her, she was looking at me and I looked back at the ceiling before sighing. "I don't know.. I just feel like I shouldn't be here anymore and things would be better for everyone?"

"Why do you think that?"

"Cause I'm a burden to people. My sister is taking care of me cause I can't hold a job.. my best friend is dealing with my shit along with my sister. I know she's tired of it even though she never says anything. I'm too much to handle." I took a breath before shutting my eyes for a moment.

When I opened them, Miss Arianna was looking at me. I saw her facial expressions and couldn't read them as she slowly smiles.

"That's more than you've ever shared with me, Morgan. Thank you for that."

I realized that was the most I've ever said, to any therapists for as long as I've been here.

Miss Arianna stood up and walked back to her desk as I was watching her.

"Did you use that technique again?"

She looks at me from her desk. "What technique?"

Looking at her for a moment, I shook my head then leaned back again. "Nothing." I stared at the ceiling as she was messing with papers on her desk.

"I think you're starting to open up more to me, Morgan." She says as she walks back towards me and sits down in the chair across from me.

"No, I'm not."

She watches me before smiling but didn't say anything else.

We talked a little more but she was just asking how I felt the last few days and all I told her was fine but she had a look on her face as if she didn't believe me.

"The session is over. You did great today, Morgan... Morgan?"

Looking at her, I nod before getting up then stretching. I grabbed my coffee cup from the floor before walking towards the door.

"Morgan?"

I stopped then turned my head and saw her looking at me from the desk. "What."

"What's wrong?"

I shrug as I watched her. "Nothing. Just ready to go home."

She continued to look at me for a moment. "You know you can call me, right? I'm always available to listen to you if you're having bad thought or tempted to do something harmful.. I'm always here, Morgan."

I continued to look at her as my hand was on the door knob. I had mixed feelings in my head from what she was saying but a part of me wanted to believe she was actually caring about me.

But that's something hard for me to do.

When everyone else got tired of dealing with me, they left.

As soon as I let them in, open myself up to them, they end up leaving cause they see how fucked up I really am.

Nobody has cared enough to stay and nobody cared enough in general.

"Thanks.. I'll take it into consideration."

She slightly smiles at me before I turned towards the door and walked out.