Therapy Session [Completed]

Keep Pushing

"I think that's a great idea." Haley smiled when I told her about the notebook. I was still a little stuck as to what I was going to write and how to but I decided to tell my sister.

I nodded as I looked at the notebook that was laying on the table. I was sitting in the kitchen with Haley as she was cooking dinner that night.

Telling Haley was either going to be a good idea or something I'd regret cause now she won't stop being excited about the whole notebook thing.

She kept telling me how Miss Arianna was a lot better than any other and the things she's doing are already improving how I am.

"How?" I asked, not understanding.

She smiles at me as she turns away from the stove. "I think this is a great idea and the way you talk about her.. she's great, Morgan."

"If you say so."

I saw her look at me for a moment before giving me a confused look. "Why don't you think so?"

I shrug as I lean back into the chair with my arms crossed and saw her look at me, waiting for me to tell her.

"Morgan."

"She's just.. trying too hard."

"What do you mean? How is she trying too hard?"

After everything I've been through with Miss Arianna, I never told Haley. I didn't want her to know and thought it wasn't important.

"Do you think she's trying too hard cause she's better than the rest and actually cares?"

"Who said she was the best?"

She gives me a confused look. "Morgan, the way you were talking about her-"

"When did I talk about her?"

She stares at me for a moment before sighing. "Nevermind." She turns towards the stove and continues to cook.

Silence fell between us until she was done with dinner and I helped set the table.

We ate mostly in silence and hardly spoke the rest of the night.

-

"Have you written in your notebook?"

I look up to see Miss Arianna watching me from her desk. I watch as she takes her glasses off and slightly smiles at me.

"Not yet."

She nods as she places the glasses back on before looking down at whatever she was doing.

There was fifteen minutes left and we already talked about almost everything.

She asked me more about my mood and pretty much the same shit she's been asking.

Trying to crack me open.

But failing.

"What are you doing later?"

I heard Miss Arianna talking on the phone so I stared at the ceiling before raising my arm and looking at my tattoos.

"Morgan?" I look over to see Miss Arianna looking at me. "Did you hear me?"

"You were talking to me?"

"Yes."

"Um.." I was confused as I looked at her. "I don't know. Go home?"

She nods before looking down at the desk and I watch her for a moment until she looks back up at me.

"What?"

"Why do you want to know?"

"It's nothing.."

Furrowing my eyebrows, I kept watching her as she looked back down. I sat up more before standing up and stretching before walking to her.

She looks up and watches me as I stood in front of the desk. I crossed my arms, watching her and waiting until she tells me.

A few seconds passed and she looks down before sighing. "I was just asking cause I was wondering if you wanted to go grab something to eat."

"Together?"

She looks up at me. "Yes." I watch her, not saying anything cause I didn't know what to say. "If it's too much then-"

"No.. I'll meet you at the café around four?"

I saw her slightly smile before nodding. "Sounds good." I nod as I stuffed my hands in my pockets before walking back to the chair.

The rest of the time consisted of Miss Arianna looking through paper as I was staring at the walls and being bored.

When I left, I heard Miss Arianna tell me that she would call me before four. I nodded at her before walking out the room and down the hall, ready to leave this building.

When I got back to the house, I went to the kitchen and grabbed something to drink before heading upstairs to my room.

Haley was working so she wasn't home to ask questions when I left.

When I looked at the time, it was around one so I had a few more hours.

As I was sitting there, I decided to go sit at the cliff and clear my head. I didn't waste any time as I grabbed everything I needed then left.

The drive there was filled with music as I had the windows down and placed my arm out and sighed.

I watched the houses go by before turning down a few streets and heading towards the spot.

Once I was away from the town, I sighed out as I pulled down another street and came to a stop in front of the old fence.

Getting out, I looked around before shutting the door and walking towards the fence before stepping over it.

I looked at the trees that were in the middle before walking to the back where the opening was.

Walking down, I made sure not to get hit with any branches before coming to the clearing and standing there as I took the view in from below.

I walked to the edge and stared at the view, feeling at peace.

Sighing, I looked around more then thought about my mom. I looked down at the town and thought about the last time she was here with us and missing her even more.

"It's not fair. Why couldn't I have went instead of you."

I never hated life until the day my mom passed away. I started hating everything and wishing I was dead the moment she was gone.

My life wasn't that great when she was alive either but my mom made everything better.

She was my best friend.

It's hard living everyday without her.

Even though it's been years, I still miss her.

More everyday.

I keep reminding myself that I'm doing therapy for her. I'm doing this for her and as much as I want to quit, I can't.

Making a promise to a person that's no longer here can be broken but that's something I won't do.

Not to her.

I know she's looking down at me and smiling at how far I've come.

But I don't feel like I even got far at all.

I'm still battling the voices in my head everyday and thoughts. It's hard but I keep pushing through for her.

I have to keep pushing for her.