Therapy Session [Completed]

It's Always Too Much

Just to let everyone know that there are only a few more chapters left

Arianna and I were making out on her couch.

I can't remember how it happened or when but all I remember was her kissing my shoulder and when I looked over at her, we started kissing.

Then kissing lead to making out.

She was practically on top of me, sitting on my lap with her legs wrapped around my waist.

Her hands were holding my neck and my hands were holding her hips.

The whole room was spinning out of control and it was getting so damn hot.

When she started kissing my neck, my mind was screaming and going insane. I couldn't speak or move as she was kissing all over my neck.

My hands were holding her hips tightly. I would squeeze them ever few seconds cause I didn't know what else to do.

This woman was making me lose my mind.

I wasn't sure if that was a good thing or not.

After a moment, she started nibbling on my neck and I leaned my head back which gave her more access. I couldn't think or do anything cause I was stuck underneath this woman.

I could feel my heart about to beat out of my chest.

She leans away after a few moments and looks at me as I did the same. She smiles before tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. "Are you ok?" I nod as I look at her. "I can feel your heart beating like crazy."

As I was looking at her, I could feel my heart beating a lot but my mind woke up a few seconds later and I quickly stood up but knocked her back as well.

She sat on the floor and looked at me as I was stepping over her and trying to hurry to the door. I heard her yell after me but I was out before she could reach me.

Running to my car, I heard a door shut then saw her rushing towards me as I started my car and tried backing out of the driveway.

She reached the car before I could.

"Morgan, stop."

"What?"

"Don't leave. I'm sorry."

I stared at her for a moment before placing the car back into park. I stared at the steering wheel for a few seconds before looking over at her.

"I'm going to go."

"Don't, Morgan. Please."

I watch as she was staring at me, pleading with her eyes but I really didn't want to stay here anymore. I was doing ok but my mind was running all over the place and this was too much.

It was too much.

"I'm sorry." She said.

"Why are you sorry?"

"Cause I was being too much.. I shouldn't of did that. I was just lost in the moment."

I nod as I looked back at the steering wheel. I sighed as I knew these next words were going to hurt us both but I couldn't control my mind at the moment.

"I can't do this.." I look over at her and her expression was enough to make me look away.

"Morgan, please.." She reached for my hand but I pulled away.

I placed my car into reverse and looked at her as I saw tears form in her eyes. I shook my head before backing out of the driveway, ignoring what she was yelling before driving away.

-

The drive back to town was a little on the silent side.

I had so many thoughts running through my head that I didn't know what to do.

But I didn't want to go home.

I went up to the hill instead so I could clear my head.

It was my only escape and I needed an escape.

Her face was stuck in my head and I couldn't get it out.

Her eyes.

Her face.

My heart sunk but I couldn't get myself to turn around.

I knew it was coming.

Always a fuck up.

When I got to the spot, I parked and grabbed my phone before walking through the gate. I made my way through the trail and pushed some branches out of the way before seeing the clearing come into view.

I walked closer to the edge and stood there, admiring the view from below before slowly taking a step closer then sitting down.

Taking a few breaths, I closed my eyes and eased my mind.

Then my mind went to Arianna and at that same time, I felt my phone vibrate. I took it out my pocket and saw her calling me.

Staring at it, I didn't want to answer it. I let it ring until it stopped then I looked back at the view in front of me.

A few texts came through but I never opened them.

All my life, I've struggled with allowing someone in and opening up to them in a way that allows myself to become vulnerable. I always tried my hardest to let someone reach in and grab my soul, pulling their way through and into my heart.

But I couldn't.

Arianna knew this and I tried telling her numerous times.

I tried pushing her away but she pulled me to her instead.

It was bound to happen.

Everyone gets hurt in the end.

There's no cure for how I am.

There never will be.

Now I wasn't sure what to do from this point.

I knew that I would continue seeing her and seeing hurt from what I said and did. I wasn't sure if I even wanted to go back at this point cause I couldn't handle seeing her.

This feeling inside my chest wasn't going to go away any time soon.

The feeling of regret and hurt.

My phone started vibrating again and her name was on the screen. I stared at it for a moment before looking back at the view that was in front of me as I let the phone ring.

It finally stopped and another text came through after a few moments.

I was hesitant but I opened the texts.

I am so sorry Morgan.. I should of never did that.. please answer my calls.

I'm worried about you please

We can talk about this..

I sighed as I knew she was trying but just like all the other times, she was trying too hard and that's what was going to get her hurt more.

As I was sitting there, I let my mind wander as I stared at the view in front of me. I let all my thoughts go away and focused on what was in front of me.