Lies in the Past (Alimentation Series #2)

Chapter 9

My mother was standing in front of Rhianna's condo.

Gulat na gulat akong nakatingin sa kaniya habang siya ay taas noong nakatitig sa akin pabalik, giving me the same intensity I am giving her. I couldn't trace any happiness the way she stares at me, instead, she remains emotionless, and she seems very unreachable only if I didn't know that she's my mother. She stands proud and elegantly outside the doorway. My headache suddenly vanished.

The last time I saw her was when we had argument. After she clears to me her plan of not accepting my decision, I ran away from our house to live here with Rhianna. We never had any contact to each other at ngayon lang siya ulit nagpakita sa akin.

It must have been really hard for her to accept my decision. Bata pa lang kasi ako ay gustong-gusto na niya akong nakikita sa television. That was why she pushed me through it really hard. My Mom was once a popular model and an effective actress. She wants me to live in the world she once dedicated her life to. She was pushing me to do everything to get all the recognition she believes I deserved more than anybody else.

But the problem is that, I never had the spotlight we both aims for. Never akong nagkaroon ng lead role at disappointed talaga si Mommy sa akin dahil ang taas ng expectation niya. She expects me to be as great as her, kahit ang totoo ay ibigay ko man ang lahat ng kaya ko, kulang pa rin. I'm still lacking, and she is disappointed. And that's the saddest part of being not good enough.

I had tried enough. I once told myself that I would be getting my dream role really soon. Pero hindi naman 'yon nangyari kahit isang beses. Until I got tired of disappointing not only my mother, but also myself.

Her eyes started scanning me from the upper to the lower. I suddenly felt the shame I shouldn't actually be feeling towards her. Ano naman kung asymmetrical shoulder crop top at baggy jeans ang suot ko ngayon? Very indifferent sa mga sophisticated dresses na prefer niya. But I want her to realize that I am now free to choose whatever I want for myself, that I don't have to listen to other people's choices and option, that I should be the one to be followed now.

The woman is looking sophisticated in her white above-the-knee dress. May slit sa right leg at mataas ang itim na stiletto niya. Her hair was fixed similarly to how she always wants it to be done.

The woman is my mother.

"Why are you here?" I broke the silence between us. Ghost of unpleased yet glad face expression was trying to be desperately putted aside. "You shouldn't be here," I added.

"Lemonade," she calls my name, and I couldn't believe I would feel wobbly over that small thing. Maybe I've been missing her voice calling my name. "How are you?"

I tried to look away from her gaze. "I-I'm fine, Mom."

"Can we talk... at least inside?"

Noong una ay parang nagdalawang isip ako. May lakad ako, hihintayin ko nga sana si Harminder sa lobby, pero hindi ko naman pu-pwedeng itaboy na lang basta si Mommy.

I let her in while typing a short message for Harminder. I guess I would not be able to visit his Mom today. Guilty because he is more than willing to drive back and forth in the means of me meeting his mother. He doesn't mind the tiredness it could give him.

Harminder:

Alright. I'll be on my way now.

This was his last message to me. He should be driving by now. Why would my mother even visit without sending a notice first? She must have feeling embarrassed to do so. Pero I realized it's really a must to send an announcement if you're to visit a person para hindi nabibigla at may plano pang maca-cancel dahil sa unannounced arrival mo.