Lies in the Past (Alimentation Series #2)

Chapter 34

Punong-puno ng luha ang mukha ko at pakiramdam ko ay unti-unting napupunit ang aking puso. Hindi ko minsan naisip na makakarinig ako ng ganoong salita galing sa lalaking minahal ako ng sobra. He can do everything for me. He loves me more than anything in this world.

Lumaki akong buo ang pamilya ko. Mayroon akong masipag at mapagmahal na ama. A mother who is very protective of me. Lahat ng pagmamahal na gusto kong maramdaman at matanggap ay hindi ako nabigong makuha. They love me because I am their only child. All the love I need, they have given them to me.

Minsan sa buhay ko ay hindi ako nakaramdam ng inggit sa isang kompletong pamilya. My parents are flawed, especially my mother, and she's never perfect. But despite that, I still believed that our family was somehow perfect the way I wanted to believe.

To hear my father telling me that I couldn't be with Harminder because he was his son... is heartbreaking. Every word was made to destroy my heart.

I sobbed. "W-what did you s-say?"

Daddy frustratedly pushed his hair backwards. He was staring at me. "He is my son. Ako ang ama niya!"

"No, you're not, Dad!" Sigaw ko at mabilis na tumayo para harapin siya. "You... are not his father."

Kung hindi nag-kwento sa akin si Harminder, I would've believed my father! Pero alam kong hindi si Daddy ang ama ng lalaking mahal ko dahil imposible iyon! That's just so impossible!

"Noong bago ka pa mabuo, may nangyari sa amin ni Rein. She never wanted me to father her child dahil may asawa ako," he said and every words have seemed to stabbed my heart deeply. "I was begging her to make me see my child. Sigurado akong akin 'yon at ayaw niya lang aminin."

Mariin akong umiling kahit tila babagsak na naman ang tuhod ko sa panginginig dahil sa mga nalaman ko. I can't believe it. He was married to my mother and he had sex with Harminder's mother? With Tita Rein?

I licked my lower lip and brushed my hair with my fingers. Mariin ang singhap ko, punong-puno ng sakit. Hindi ako makapaniwala, at hindi ko alam kung ano ang dapat kong isipin. Patuloy akong umiiyak at hindi na tumitigil ang mga luha sa pagpatak. They are painful and heavy to my face.

I heard my mother's loud cry, sobbing with pain in her voice. Like me... she was also hurting. Marahas kong pinunasan ang mga luha sa aking pisngi pero tila lamang hangin ang ginawa ko dahil mabilis naman din silang napalitan.

"Imposibleng ikaw ang ama ni Harminder dahil he told me that his cousin are Saavedras," mahina kong sinabi, trying to make him understand that I will not believe him. "He was obviously related to that surname. Wake up, Dad!"

Nagulat ako nang bigla siyang tumawa at umiling. "Yohan Saavedra was Rein's ex-boyfriend. At naghiwalay nga sila dahil nabuntis ko si Rein. He was obviously brainwashed by her own mother for believing that Yohan Saavedra is his father!"

"Hayop ka!" Pinaghahampas ni Mommy si Daddy sa dibdib, galit na galit. Hindi ko kayang umawat dahil ramdam kong nanginginig ang mga tuhod ko sa sobrang pag-iyak. Hindi ko kayang paniwalaan ang mga sinasabi niya. "Hayop ka, Oslek! Matagal mo na pala akong niloloko! Hayop ka! Hayop ka!"

"Aksidente lamang ang nangyari sa amin, Jean! Iyon 'yong gabing tinalikuran mo ako para sa pangarap mo! Hindi ka umuwi sa akin kahit nagmamakaawa akong uwian mo ako!"

"Sapat ba na dahilan iyon para gumamit ka ng ibang babae?! Akala ko... Mahal mo ako... Akala ko, Oslek... Ako lang. Ilang beses ko pa bang dapat malaman na niloloko mo ako..."

Dahan-dahan akong napaupo sa sahig at niyakap ang mga tuhod ko upang doon humikbi nang humikbi. This was the night I become so weak. I never thought I can be this hurt. I didn't know that one day... I'd be confused of which to believe. Kasi ngayon.... Hindi ko na alam kung saan ako maniniwala sa mga nalaman at patuloy ko pang nalalaman.