Me and meredith are in my room on my bed. "So? Talk to me baby, what's up?" She asks. "I honestly don't know" I say. She climbs ontop of me, straddling me.
I twirl her hair around my fingers. "You don't have to talk to me about it if you don't want" she shakes her head. "No, I do want to.. I just feel a little uncomfortable" I say quietly.
"I've never talked to anyone about this before" I say. "But I'm your girlfriend" she says. "Mer, you gotta understand how embarrassing this is for me" I whisper.
"It shouldn't be! You have nothing to be embarrassed about" she says. "People made so much fun out of me when my depression started.. they found out I was taking pills and-" I sigh.
"Well I'd never make fun of you" she says. "I know, I trust you.. but if we break up-" I say hesitantly. "First of all, that's not going to happen.. and second of all.. even if were not together, I'd still love you and respect you" she says. I smile.
"I just feel.. empty" I say. She nods, signaling to me that she's listening. "The only time I feel something is when I'm with you" I put my hands on her jaw. She looks into my eyes.
She puts her hands on my neck, stroking my jaw gently with her thumbs. "When you have to go home it kills me" I say.
"I feel like I can't talk to anyone else in the world other than you about how I'm feeling.. and that's a lot of pressure to put on one person.. I feel like a burden to you and that- it hurts" I say.
"You're not a burden.. I feel the exact same way" she says. I look into her eyes. "I mean it" she smiles.
"I mean, I have my friends but they're nowhere near as nice and supportive to me as you are.. and I don't love them nearly as much" she says.
"I'm obsessed with you.. you know that?" I grin, brushing her hair out of her face. She giggles, nodding. "I do know, creep" she teases. I chuckle.
"What else though?" She asks seriously. "Its hard that I don't have anyone else though.. other than my family, who are basically obliged to love me" I say.
"What about your friends in London?" She asks. "I can't really speak to them about anything serious" I say. She sighs.
"I'm so glad I met you" I hug her tight. She smiles, wrapping her arms tight around me. "Me too" she whispers.
We finally pull away slowly. "Well, this was a depressing talk" she says. "Literally" I chuckle. Her eyes go wide and she giggles. "That's not funny" she hits me lightly. I laugh.
"You have been taking your antidepressants though, haven't you?" She asks. "Yeah, I have a doctors appointment in a few days, so they might change it or something.. I dont know" I shrug.
"Try and get a weed prescription" she says. I glare at her. She giggles, grinning. "Forget it.. I'll supply you" she whispers. I chuckle, shaking my head.
Her phone buzzes. She picks it up. "I'm sorry, I gotta go" she says. I sigh. "I just told you all my most vulnerable things and you're just leaving?" I say. "I'm sorry" she says.
"No, please don't leave" I wrap my arms tight around her. "I don't want to but my mom's already really mad at me" she says. "No" I mumble into her neck.
"Fine, I'll tell you one of my biggest secrets.. then you won't feel so bad about me knowing yours" she says. "Okay" I say. "I don't wanna" she giggles.
"Tell me" I say. "I once peed myself in Walmart.. I needed the toilet so bad but thought I could hold it.. I could not" she says.
"What did you do?" I ask. "Wrapped a jacket around my waist and left quickly" she giggles.
"Well that was when you were younger.. How's it your biggest secret?" I roll my eyes. "It was last year" she says. My mouth drops open. She blushes hard.
"I have a weak bladder" she giggles. "You peed yourself!" I laugh hysterically. "Shut up!" She giggles, hitting me.
"You can't tell anyone.. ever!" She warns. "Your secret is safe with me" I say. She chuckles.
She climbs off of me, standing up. She grabs her things. "I'll walk you downstairs" I get up. "Okay" she says. We walk downstairs. She says goodbye to my parents and sisters before we walk to the door.
"Bye piss pants" I say. "I shouldn't have told you, should I?" She says. I grin, shaking my head. "I hate you so much" she says. I chuckle.
"I love you" I kiss her softly. "Mhm.. whatever" she grins, walking out. "Hey.. i love you!" I say again. "I love you too" she giggles, waving at me. I smile, watching her as she walks away.
