"No! No way in a million years" I say. "Meredith you're not my mom" he says. "No, I am.. and I'm saying no" Carol says. "Please mom.. I dont want to stay here.. I hate it.. I can't" he says. Me and Carol look at eachother.
We're sat in the kitchen at his house. He says he wants to go back to London. "I can't go back to school here" he says.
"B-because of me?" I ask. "I'm sorry but.. yeah, partly" he says. I look away, feeling guilty. "Derek get over it" Carol sighs. I don't say anything. I understand him.
"I don't want you to go to London by yourself.. if I wouldn't have been here with you three weeks ago then you wouldn't even be-" she stops. He looks down. "I-i'll go with him" I say.
He looks at me. "He won't be alone.. I know we're not dating but I still want you to be okay.. I can just stay there a little while, to make sure you're okay" I say. "Yeah! Mom, please" he says.
"Um.. I guess.. I guess if ellis says its okay, then you- you can go" she says. "Yes!" He says. I smile. I haven't seen him smile this hard in ages.
"You know, they have loads of extra courses in the school.. we could get you enrolled for a few months whilst you're there" he says. "That's great" I say.
"And you're okay with me staying with you?" I ask. "Yeah, definitely" he nods. I smile. "Okay, I should go home and talk to my mom then" I stand up. I say bye before going home.
I ask my mom and Unbelievably, she says yes. I tell derek and he books plane tickets.
2 weeks later:
Me and derek get a taxi from the airport to his apartment in London. We get there and walk in.
"I missed this place" he says. "Mer?" He asks. "Sorry, I just- I was thinking about when we did it for the first time" I giggle, looking at the bed. He chuckles. I haven't had sex in so long.
"So.. you gonna text aannnddyyy now you're in London?" I ask playfully. He shakes his head. I chuckle.
"I think you should.. if you don't tell her you're here, when she finds out, she'll think you're avoiding her" I say. "I am avoiding her" he says. I chuckle.
His phone buzzes. "Ahh! It's her" he says. I giggle. "I'm going to take a shower.. I smell like plane" I say. "Okay" he says. "And that's not an invitation mister" I say jokingly. He chuckles. I take a quick shower.
I get out and wrap a towel around myself. I walk out and sit on the end of his bed. "What's going on?" I ask. "Um.. she wants to go out tonight.. to a restaurant" he says. Don't go.
"What did you say?" I ask. "Yes" he says. Well, crap. "You should probably get ready then" I say. "Are you done in the bathroom?" He asks. "Yeah, I can get changed out here" I say. "Okay" he gets up and goes to the bathroom.
I get ready into my pyjamas and pick him out an outfit. After his shower he comes out and I help him get ready.
He looks into my eyes as I walk him to the door. I smile. "Meredith-" he says quietly. "Derek.. go and have fun" I whisper. I kiss his cheek. "Its not the end of the world.. if it isn't a good date then it's fine, if it is then great" I say. "Okay" he whispers.
He walks out. I close the door behind him. I sigh. I snap out of it. Why the fuck did I let him leave. I open the door again, walking out. I run downstairs but his car is already gone. I groan, banging my head against the wall.
Derek's pov:
We're nearly finished with our food when she asks me if I want to go to her apartment. I'm very shocked by this. "Andy I- I'm really sorry but I can't.. I can't lead you on.. I'm not over meredith" I say quietly.
"I know you're not" she chuckles softly. "So why'd you ask me out?" I furrow my brows. "I don't want a relationship.. I- I just want to have sex with you" she says. I look at her shocked.
"Really?" I raise my brow. "Is that- do you think thats something.. you could be into?" She asks. "Um.." I think about it. I think about it a lot. Meredith slept with someone else.. why can't I?
"Let's get out of here" I say. She smiles. I pay for the check. I stand up. She gets up. We walk out and go back to her place.
----
"Hi der, how'd it go?" I put on a smile as he walks in. I'm sat on his bed. He looks at me. "Derek?" I raise my brow. He walks over to me, sitting next to me.
"Oh.. you slept with her" I say quietly. "Yeah, I slept with her" he whispers. Do not cry. "I slept with her, and I was thinking of you.. the whole time" he whispers. I sigh. "Its okay" I say. "I feel terrible" he says.
"Are you going out with her again?" I ask. "She- I- I told her that I'm not over you.. and she said she's fine with just sex" he says. "Oh, derek.. you're fine then" I chuckle.
Hi looks at me. "As long as you didn't lead her on, that's okay.. you told her how you feel" I shrug. "Are you sure?" He asks. "I'm sure" I say.
"Have I hurt you?" He asks. "No" I whisper. A lot.. but I deserve it. "I'm sorry.. I dont even- I thought sleeping with her would help me move on but all I can think about is you" he whispers.
"I hate that I hurt you" I whisper. "I hate it too" he says. I look down. "Do you think you'll ever be able to trust me again?" My lip trembles. "I don't- I don't know" he whispers.
We hug eachother. I sniffle. "We should get some sleep.. its late and its been a long day" he whispers. I nod. I wipe my eyes. We lay next to eachother. I don't think either of us really fall asleep tonight. We just stare at the ceiling in silence.
