SILHOUETTE

Chapter 13

Simone's feet shuffled under the covers feeling the coldness which she appreciated. She reached out expecting to feel a sleeping Jordan only to feel nothing but sheets. She sat up rubbing her eyes thankful for black out curtains. She saw Jordan at the end of her bed. Sneaking behind him, she kissed his bare shoulder. He was typing furiously on his phone. She sat behind him placing barely there kisses against his back.

"Want to talk about it?" Simone wondered.

"Not even sure where to start."

He was positive that if he started that he would never shut up.

"Anywhere is fine." She encouraged.

They had been avoiding the conversation all together. It was like walking on egg shells and she knew that it wasn't going to be the easiest conversation to have. Neither wanted to relive those moments . Simone wanted to make sure that Jordan was okay just as much as he wanted the same for her. She wanted to make sure all involved were okay but knew he was the one effected the most besides herself.

"Come on."

The young woman crawls back to the head of her bed getting comfortable again. She held out her arms waiting for him to join her. He didn't want to trigger anything so he personally avoided the conversation. Jordan was taking the necessary steps to protect her mental health while thinking of his own. He glanced at her for a moment before moving to lay on her chest.

"I just never expected something like this to happen especially from people that were suppose to be my best friends."

"People change, Jordan. Nobody stays the same." She ran her fingers through his curls.

"Layla was never like this but Asher. He's done it before and I was done with him then and even though he apologized , I always felt wrong about accepting it. Liv didn't want me to do anything back then but watching the video footage of just..." He paused.

"Take your time. Breathe, it's okay."

She felt like her therapist coached her through this exact moment over and over. Dr. Anderson told her that this topic could be triggering and hard to discuss. This conversation might be  helpful in the long run. The pair always wanted communication to be apart of their relationship. They were friends first after all. Simone wanted Jordan to be comfortable with expressing himself and his concerns.

" I feel like I let Olivia down by never doing anything about it. I feel like it's my fault that it happened to you. It shouldn't have ever happened to either of you and I am so incredibly sorry that it did." He continued tracing mindless shapes against her arm.

"You aren't responsible for the actions of others. Hey, look at me."

Jordan looked up at her with the saddest eyes. He pushed through most days then other times everything just hit him. He was a work in progress. Naturally , he was a lover who never fought unless he had too. He has never in life ever thought he wanted to a kill a man with his bare hands before as much he wanted to inflict pain on his ex best friend.

He knew that Layla played a huge part but Asher knew how Jordan was - he didn't play when it came to people that he cared about. Jordan had never felt so deeply for someone before. He had never been in love before. It had been told to him after some drinks and a lustful night but he never told another woman that he loved them romantically. Even with Layla, he never felt the same feelings as he did with Simone.

"It is not your fault. I do not blame you for any of it. You can't keep beating yourself up about it. Please stop blaming yourself. As much as I want to shut down and proclaim all men are the bane of my existence, I remember how incredible you are."