fighting with daddy

Blake -The same loop

the images never seem to go away. I've been stuck in the same loop for eleven years and the memories danced at night over and over for hours. My mind was black, I had no light. I am no light! how could anyone want to hurt me, my siblings so innocent no sin in this world yet committed.

pills after pills and therapist after therapist when will this end. Mom thought I was sleep when she slipped out and grabbed dads spare gun under his side dresser. my blood freezes everytime I see one of my parents or even my brother hold a gun.

Flashbacks of the gun being pointed in the middle of my head! i was a child. the hands of strangers roughly hitting me until I was bruised! The rag being shoved into my mouth..my sister pleading eyes as they took her out the room if only I knew that was the last time I would see her for a while then I would have..I would have fought more

i couldn't just sit around while my mom went out while my dad prepared to lose his life for this family. I don't know what made me get out of bed taking the gun that was under the bed that my dad made me promise not to tell mom about

But I followed her to the garage I quietly went into the boot of the car, until we made it to the building where dad and everyone was camping out

I couldn't breathe, what was I doing out here! Why was I here!

mom and dad started to fuse about mom being here. I can tell dad still loves her by the look in his eyes everytime he sees her FUCK this wasn't a good idea.

the look of panic on everyone faces as the signal was being called

i hid in the corner like a coward while they suited up and ran inside. My blood ran cold I couldn't go in there! What if they were there..the man that took me! That hurt me

It was a battle inside my head I couldn't leave my family in there what if they need me but I couldn't bring myself to move...I felt so useless how could I let my family down like this.

Shots went off it was like a trigger my legs moved on there own. i slide to the back slowly opening the door I seen a a blond Afro pointing a gun at dad

"Stefina put the gun down honey"

I caught aunt Taylor eye and she gave me the look to stay put

But I needed Stefina to know I'm here.

"Put the gun down we can talk about this"

"My assignment isnt done! stephan james can stay the rest of you can get the hell out"

"We can't do that baby girl, not without you. you can kill me but not before I bring you home..put the gun down please"

i stepped out more I was directly behind her She turned fast and pulled the gun out her boot. Two guns and one was on me

"Fuck"

"WHO TF ARE YOU"

"I'm Blake..I'm your b-brother"

"I don't have a fucking brother! I don't have a mom or dad either SO STOP TRYING TO FILL ME WITH BULLSHIT"

Mom moved closer to her pleading with her eyes

"Listen to me, I didn't come this far just to lose you again Stefina. Whatever they told you is a lie! Look at me! I am your mother im pleading for you to please put the gun down...im tired of hurting, please"

she was breaking I could see the tears she was fighting back

"Stefina, let's go home. Nathan misses you"

"I can't, not until I finish my mission! And none of you are going to s-"

Before she could finish Nathan came tacking her from the side. Knocking her guns out of her hands. She reacted quick by punching him in his face

"STOP!"

i tried pulling them apart but she was strong no one would stop her from choking Nathan from the back

"STEFINA FUCKING JAMES STOP!"

she froze and released him

"Do any of my kids listen!" mom walked towards stefina and quickly grabbed her shoulders and made her past out

"Mom what are you doing here?" Nathan hissed

"I'm a grown fucking women! WHAT ARE YOU TWO DOING HERE"

"Let's go before someone comes we can discuss how hard head you guys are later!" Dad hissed while picking up Stefina and carrying her to the car

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